“They like to play it cool, you know?Keepthings casual, not overthink things.WhereasI’mjust … a mess of emotions and anxiety,Iguess.I’mnot good at casual.Icatch feelings the way other people catch a cold.Which, yeah, is a stereotype as well,Iguess.Butit’s also true.”
Somewhat surprisingly,Teddydidn’t look put off by this admission.Ifanything, she was smiling more warmly, like she found my neuroses endearing rather than exhausting.
“What about you?”Iasked, desperately needing to turn the spotlight away from me and my romantic failings. “Everhad anything real?”
Teddy shook her head. “No.It’shard whenI’monly around for half the year.I’vetried – inCalifornia, anyway – but…”Shepaused, seeming to choose her words carefully. “I’venever met anyone who made me want to call someplace home more than here.”
Teddy was perhaps a bit more drunk thanIwas, and she suddenly looked directly at me with an expression that was almost vulnerable.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, her words only slightly undercut by the slur around the edges. “Foracting weird the last couple of weeks.Iknow my vibe has been off.”
“Yeah, well,I’mgetting used to it,”Iscoffed.Shetilted her head at me in confusion, soIexplained. “Youknow, your pattern.Whereyou’re cold, then you say something nice, or we have a moment, so you freak out and have to go cold again…”
I tried to keep my tone light.Breezy.Butshe looked genuinely stricken.
“Oh my god,Itotally do that, don’tI?”
I shrugged. “It’sfine.Ihave no idea what you’re like with other people.Ionly know from my own experience.”
“Well,I’msorry for that, too.”Shewaved her hand vaguely in my direction. “Youjust … well, you scare me.”
I frowned. “Youmean,Iintimidate you?”
Teddy caught my gaze and held it, and suddenlyIfelt stone-cold sober.
“No,” she said, her voice dropping lower, her voice crystal clear now. “Youterrifyme.Allthis”– she gestured between us– “it scares the shit out of me.”
I wasn’t certain what she meant by “all this”, but if she was feeling the same alchemy between us thatIwas, thenIcould guess.Itwas, in fact, terrifying.Mortifying, even.
I was still reeling from the confession, trying to process what she’d just admitted, trying to figure out how to respond with something other than “you scare me, too, and somehow that makes you even hotter to me,” whenTeddysuddenly sat bolt upright, a look of pure glee on her face.
It took until the end of the nonsensical countdown – “four,tres, two,uno”– for me to realise what had captured herattention.Whenthe familiar voice declared it was time to “Listenup, y’all,”Ifinally understood what had her so excited.
BeforeIknew what was happening, she was dragging me onto the dance floor, whereIdiscovered that not only didTeddyCooperknow every single word to “Fergalicious”, but she had interpretive dance moves to go with every lyric– from bicep curls for “fitness” to a far more lewd gesture for “pleasures”.
Perhaps unsurprisingly,Ifound this unbridled enthusiasm extremely attractive.Shewas dancing in an oddly captivating way, completely unselfconscious, and, as usual,Iwas powerless to resist her.Iwatched her toss her hair around and execute questionable body rolls, andIwas overcome with affection.
There was no getting around it anymore–Ihad real feelings for this woman.Thisstern, passionate, and apparentlyFergaliciouswoman.Iwas exhausted from constantly trying to turn them off; it didn’t work, anyway.Andmaybe it was the mead, but in that moment,Ididn’t want to try anymore.
I started to dance along with her, which just got her even more excited, apparently.Asthe song built,Ispun around so my back was pressed against her front, guiding her hand to my hip as we moved together.Sparkserupted where her fingers tickled my skin through the fabric of my skirt.Iexpected her to pull away like she usually did– to retreat into professional distance– but instead she brought her other hand around me, too, then nuzzled into my neck, her breath hot against my ear as she kept singing.Iswayed against her in a way that made me feel all tingly, andIgasped in surprise when her hands gripped harder onto my hips, her fingers pressing into me, pulling us even closer together.Iarched my back, then felt as her hand started to drift higher, passing briefly over the gap that had formed between my top and my skirt, before scaling my ribcage.Theelectric sensation when she grazed the underside of my breast was so intense thatIspooked slightly, spinning around suddenly in her arms.
ButTeddycaught my face asIturned, and beforeIcould say anything, beforeIcould overthink or panic or find a reason why this was a terrible idea, she leaned forward and closed her mouth over mine.
Fucking finally.
Chapter27
Teddy
We made it as far as the elevator beforeChloehad me backed against the brushed steel wall, her hands in my hair, her lips hungry on mine.Iwould’ve liked to believeI’dbe calm, suave, and in control–I’dmanaged at least the illusion of that with other women– but the truth was,Icouldn’t think at all.Allmy instincts were shouting at once–yes, more, please.Thevoice of reason that had kept this at bay was already miles away and losing ground fast.
The doors slid open on the fourth floor with a merciful ding.Chloesnatched my hand and pulled me down the corridor at a near-run, laughing the whole way.Shefumbled with the keycard at her door, her fingers shaking so badly she had to try three times before it finally lit up green.Wecrashed into her room, nearly falling on top of one another, and then the door thunked shut behind us, leaving us in the dark.
She pressed me against the door, kissing me like she was afraidI’dvanish, andIlet myself melt into it.Hermouth was sticky-sweet from the mead, and her skin tasted like salt as our kisses grew sloppy andIcaught a bit of cheek here; a bit of chin there.Icould feel her smile against my lips every timeIfumbled, every time my tongue hesitated, butIwanted to impress her.Iwanted to be the best she’d ever had.Allthis build-up had to lead to something spectacular, right?
Chloe slowed the kiss, one hand coming up to cup my face, her thumb stroking the hinge just beneath my ear. “Areyou okay?” she murmured, low and a little ragged. “Isthisokay?”
“Yeah,”Isaid, hating how small my voice sounded.Howinconsequential the word “yeah” felt.Iwas overwhelmed with all the thingsIwanted to say to her; the way my heart throbbed at the sense of culmination. “Ijust…”
