That made her feel evenlessalone. She hugged that feeling to her chest for a moment, then took a deep breath and put the bill aside.
It would wait, at least for now.
She hauled the bag on her shoulder, this time managing not to send her house into disarray with the action, and called up the stairs to her son.
“Benjamin! Are you coming?”
She heard the unmistakable clatter of toys that said that, even though Benjamin had gone up to put on shoes about twenty minutes before, he had absolutely gotten distracted. She gave it fifty-fifty that he would even have the shoes when he returned.
“Sorry, Mom!” he said as he came down the stairs, wearing one shoe and holding the other. Well, that was better than nothing.
“It’s fine, sweetheart,” she said, ruffling his hair. “Coat, though. And gloves. It’s warmer today, but it’s worth at least bringing them.”
“Gloves stink,” he grumbled, but he dutifully went to the front hall closet to dig through the bucket of winter gear while June hid a smile. Benjamin might be a kid who was forced to deal with a lot of grown-up stuff lately, but he was also still young and carefree enough to act as though wearing gloves was a great injustice.
The two of them had finally gotten themselves all bundled when Levi knocked on the door, and June felt another frisson of nerves, but this one was a good kind, the excited kind, the ‘new crush’ kind.
Because today Benjamin was going to re-meet Levi, this time as someone that June was seeing.
She hadn’t quite used the worddatingwith her son, but she suspected thathesuspected. That was fine with her, as she wanted to ease him into the idea. This was new terrain for all of them as a family, not just for her. She wanted Benjamin to have as much space as he needed to adjust, ask questions, and talk openly about the idea of his mom having a new romantic partner.
So far, at least, Benjamin did not seem horrified by the idea. She knew they’d have many conversations in their future, but she felt optimistic.
“Hey, Levi!” Benjamin said as soon as June opened the door and before she could get a single word in edgewise. “My mom said it’s okay if I call you Levi even though you’re a grown-up, since you’re her friend now. I get to callsomegrown-ups by their names, like my friend Izzy’s mom, Cadence, but some we have to use our polite words, like Ms. Miriam, because she’s old, and old people get manners.”
Levi looked delighted by this speech, which was good, because June wanted to shrink into the collar of her sweater like a turtle retreating into his shell.
“Everyone deserves good manners, actually, Benjamin Caldwell, and it’s not so polite to say ‘old people.’”
He looked up at her. “Why? Is it not true?”
Hoo boy.
“Sometimes we have to say true things in a slightly nicer way,” she said. “It’s called tact.” She could just see the questions developing behind Benjamin’s eyes, so she hastily added, “We’ll talk more about it later.”
Benjamin looked disappointed to have been thus outwitted, but he nodded without argument.
June finally turned to Levi with a smile.
“Hi,” she said. “You look nice.”
He looked down at himself on reflex, then gave her a rueful grin. “I’m wearing the same coat you’ve seen me in every time,” he said regretfully. “This cold weather stuff makes it real hard for me to bring my style A-game.” He paused. “Then again,youalso look really nice and I’ve seen that coat before too, so that’s me told.”
She grinned at him, knowing her expression was a little dopey. He grinned back.
“I also look great,” Benjamin chimed in, breaking the spell. “But I would lookway coolerwithout gloves.”
He said this slyly, less as a plea to get June to change her rule and more just to be a goofball, so she ruffled his hair affectionately and then gently used her grip on his head to direct him out the door.
“Get out of here, you punk,” she teased, and Benjamin laughed as he skipped down the front steps.
Levi gently extended a hand to June, subtly enough that she could decide not to hold his hand and it wouldn’t be obvious to Benjamin what had transpired. But June didn’t feel any doubts. She reached out and laced her fingers with his, feeling a little like a heroine in one of those regency romance novels that Miriam was always reading, since she was extremely disappointed that there were gloves preventing them touching skin-to-skin.
“What do you think it feels like to have that much energy?” Levi asked as they watched Benjamin jump up on a stump, spin around, jump back down, and then do what Junethoughtwas supposed to be a flying kick, action hero-style.
She laughed. “Oh, you havenoidea how often I think that,” she told him seriously. “I mean, I’m the one who has to try to meet that energy every day. And sometimes in the middle of the night… though fortunately we’re not in that stage so much anymore.”
When Levi didn’t respond immediately, June looked up at him and found him looking at her like she was the sun.
