Page 123 of Bite Me, Billionaire

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SAGE: Does he sparkle in the daylight?

ME: This isn’t Twilight

SAGE: Mmmm... Edward

SAGE: I’d love me some of that tasty vampire

ME: You’re ridiculous

SAGE: You know you’d totally date a vampire if he looked like Robert Pattinson

SAGE: Or Julian ;)

ME: I’m not sure that deserves a response

SAGE: That’s EXACTLY what someone dating a vampire would say

ME: I’m hanging up

SAGE: We’re not on the phone

ME: Metaphorically hanging up

SAGE: Call me tonight. For real. I need to hear your voice and confirm you haven’t been turned into a creature of the night.

ME: I promise I will call you tonight and confirm my continued humanity

SAGE: That’s all I ask

SAGE: Love you, weirdo

ME: Love you too

I take a long breath. Sage is way too perceptive for her own good.

Although “my boyfriend is a vampire and his vengeful progeny is stalking us” probably isn’t the conclusion she’d reach. Even Sage has limits to her imagination.

Damien is somewhere on this resort. Watching. Waiting. Planning something terrible.

And I’m at a pool party pretending to have fun. I should be keeping up appearances, so I take a photo. Force myself to smile. Angle the camera to catch the palm trees and the turquoise water and the picture-perfect paradise that doesn’t feel like paradise at all right now.

The photo looks great.

I look happy.

The lie is so complete I almost believe it myself.

What I could post:“Pool day with my girls!??Nothing but good vibes and great company!”

What’s actually happening:Two vampires are positioned around this pool watching for another vampire who wants to destroy everyone I love, and I’m one wrong move away from a supernatural incident at my sister’s bachelorette party.

The algorithm wouldn’t know what to do with that.

First line it is!

Post done.

Madison-or-Morgan—I know Vi just said it, but it’s already gone—splashes past me, shrieking about the water temperature. Two of the other bridesmaids are taking selfies by the swim-up bar. Someone hands me another glass of champagne that I definitely shouldn’t drink.