“Think about what? You want to come home, don’t you? We were always going to get married.” He smiled and tugged on astray hair that had escaped my braid. “I told you the day I met you, do you remember?”
I drew a deep breath. “Yes, I remember.” My stomach was in knots. “But Kace, my life is there now. I’ll be done with my apprenticeship soon. I can make a difference fighting vampires. I can save people.”
“You can take night watch with me if you’re convinced you need to make a difference. You can help from here at home.” He took my hands and rubbed his rough thumbs over my knuckles. His brown eyes pleaded—begged. “I love you, Aesira. I always have. The only reason I didn’t ask sooner, and take my courting of you seriously, is because I had to wait until after The Sorting Rite. My father wouldn’t let me. I’ve already started building us a home. You can pick out all the decor and make it yours. I just want to be with you.”
My head was spinning. I hadn’t thought of coming home to live since those first few weeks in Drakthar. I hadn’t thought of marrying Kace in as long. Guilt gnawed at my gut. I hadn’t thought about Kace much at all, but he’d clearly not forgotten about me.
The only man I thought about was the one I shared a room with. The one who made my heart beat faster. The vampire I couldn’t have. It would be stupid of me not to take this chance when Vander had made his feelings clear, but the pull to him was unbearable.
“Kace, I—I can’t leave.”
His brows pinched. “Is it because ofhim?”
“I want to be an assassin.”
“More than you want me? More than you want to see your family? You don’t belong there withthem. They’ve never cared about us. You hated them as much as anyone in Lothleton. You belong here with your people.”
I glanced down at our joined hands, and the thought that came to mind was that his fingers weren’t cool like Vander’s. I slammed my eyes shut. So many times I’d dreamed of a life with Kace. I even had an old wood slat in my closet with our names Aesira + Kace carved into it with a heart around them.
“Most of them aren’t as bad as we thought. And Iamducai, Kace.”
“Not bad? Have you forgotten they leave us out here to be hunted? Have you been safe inside the wall so long, you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be vampire feed?”
I frowned and my heart sank. “No, I haven’t. But I can make a difference from inside the assassins’ guild more than I can here. We rescue humans. We protect them by killing as many vampires as we can. I’ve been on hunts to help villages just like Neverglade. I like that I’m no longer so afraid of vampires. I don’t want to be prey anymore.”
He put a finger under my chin. I lifted my eyes to his. The intensity in his face was all-consuming. I didn’t want to hurt him. Part of me desired to give in, but my mind pulled me back to Vander and Drakthar like a hypnotic melody I couldn’t shake.
He whispered my name, then his lips crushed into mine and his arms tangled around my waist, pulling me against him. My heart beat hard. I gripped the front of his shirt and let his lips move against mine. I’d waited years for this kiss. I expected to feel the rush of excitement and for the butterflies to take flight in my belly.
But that feeling never came. One look from Vander from across the room pulled more desire and longing from me. I wanted it to be Vander’s arms around me. His kisses on my mouth. His face was all I saw in my mind.
I leaned back, breathing heavily. Kace’s lips were swollen and red. My own throbbed with heat.
His goofy grin brought my guilt right back. He’d certainly enjoyed our first kiss. “Will you marry me?” he whispered, running his hands over my shoulders and down my arms. “I’ll convince the king.”
I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. This would hurt. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” I turned for the house. My heart slammed in my chest. I didn’t want to see the pain written all over his face. I couldn’t bear it.
I spotted Vander in the kitchen window staring back at me. His expression was unreadable, stone. He vanished.
“I’m not giving up, Sira.” He caught up to my side. “Even if you stay an assassin, I want to be with you. We’ll make it work. You can come here some days and I’ll go there.”
A moment later, Vander was on the back steps. I stilled, catching sight of the protection knot I’d carved him hanging against his chest. The white stood out stark against his black uniform. Had he pulled it out to show my family?
Kace stopped beside me, and I followed his gaze straight to the carving. “Did you make that for him?” The tone of his voice was chilling.
“Yes, but?—”
Kace shot forward and tore it off Vander’s neck. The leather strap holding the pendant had snapped and it dangled between his fingers. “Your kind doesn’t get to wearoursymbols. You’re not from here. You don’t belong here.”
My pulse drummed in my ears.Boom. Boom. Boom.“Kace, that symbol is mine as much as it is anyone’s here and I can give it to whomever I want!”
Vander breathed deeply and clenched his hands at his sides. The darkness in his eyes frightened me. It would be too easy for him to hurt Kace. My face burned hot but frost ran through my veins.
His knuckles turned white with his grip. “He is not one of us. He’s one ofthem. The same people you hated. He’s not even human!”
“I don’t care! Give it to me right now.” I held out my palm and glowered.
“I’d rather burn it than see it on him.”
