I'd been moping around their place since I got here, almost six weeks ago now, and they'd put me to work on their bikes. Andy said something about making me their pit crew leader, but I shied away from that for now. If I went into that position as foggy-headed as I'd been over Garret and that crap with Tony, I'd make mistakes. I had to think clearly.
With them gone, it was the perfect opportunity to get this part out of the way, so I took the box into the bathroom and tore it open. I followed the instructions by peeing on the stick and set the test face down on the counter then washed my hands. The box said to wait three minutes, so I sat on the edge of the bathtub to wait. But I only made it to about ninety seconds before my hands started shaking. I felt like I was going to cry.
Having a baby alone had never been in my plan. I supposed even the best plans needed a contingency or two. Life knew how to throw a curveball when I least expected it.
When three minutes were up, I stood and picked up the test and immediately noticed the two dark lines in the readout window, and I'd read the packages well enough to know two lines meant positive. I was pregnant.
My knees went weak and I lowered myself back onto the edge of the tub and let the tears come for real. They weren't all sad and they weren't all happy, and I couldn't have separated them even if I'd tried. A baby meant change, and it meant coming clean tomy family about some things, though I knew I couldn’t tell them about Garret. Dad would never forgive me.
And there was no point in telling Garret, anyway. I'd broken things off because he wasn’t interested in a relationship. When he called me the day of the races, I figured he'd shown up wanting a quickie in the tack shed like normal. It was bittersweet thinking about how he'd shown up to support me but deep down, I'd known the truth all along. When we first met, he made it clear what he expected, but I let myself foolishly hope for more. It should never have happened.
If he found out I'd had a child, it wouldn't be because I told him. If he wanted nothing to do with me, then he'd surely want nothing to do with a kid. As far as my family was concerned, no one needed to know who the father was. Women had one-night stands all the time.
I washed my face and wrapped the test up in some toilet paper before tossing it in the trash. Then I picked up my phone and called my mom for a little encouragement, with no intention to tell her why I was feeling down.
She answered on the second ring. "Sara, honey. I was just thinking about you."
"Hey, Mom." I kept my voice steady and sat down at the kitchen table. "How are things?"
"Oh, you know. Same as always. The diner's been busy this week. We had that church group come through on Wednesday and they ordered sixteen plates of biscuits and gravy. I thought I was going to run out of sausage."
I almost smiled. "Did you?" Having normal conversation when I felt this conflicted and emotional was hard.
"I did not. Your mother always keeps extra in the walk-in because I know better than to trust the Wednesday crowd." She paused, and I could hear the squeak of her rocking chair. "How are you doing up there? Are you eating enough?"
"I'm eating fine, Mom."
"And Daniel's treating you well? You've got everything you need?"
"He's been great. I've got everything I need." More like he'd gotten everything he needed. Dan and Andy lived like slobs. My moving in was a godsend as far as they were concerned. I became their housekeeper.
"Good. That's good." Another pause, and this one was longer. I knew what she wanted to say before she said it. "Sara, I wish you'd come home. I know you want to be out on the road like your brothers, but you've got a life here, honey. Your dad could use you at the shop and I could use you at the diner, and this thing was only supposed to be temporary."
I closed my eyes and pressed my lips together hard. "I know, Mom. I'm just not ready yet."
"You keep saying that."
"Because it's still true." I sighed. How was I supposed to explain that my moving home so long as Tony was in town put them in danger?
She sighed, and I could hear the worry in it even through the phone. "Alright. I won't push. But I need you to know the door's always open and your room is exactly the way you left it."
"I know." My throat was getting tight, and I coughed a few times to clear it. "What else is going on at home? Anything new?"
"Well, a girl from Jefferson City won the race… Kendra something. She was good, from what your father heard, but she wasn't you. Everyone was asking where you were."
I had a lot of resentment over that. Tony scared me so badly, he chased me out of town before the race. I'd never get that chance again, and now a different woman had won. "That's good for her. She earned it."
"She did. But it should've been you up there, sweetheart." Mom's voice softened and she said, "Your father said it wasn't the same without his girl on the track."
"Mom, don't."
"I'm just telling you what he said. He misses you, Sara. He won't say it outright because you know how he is, but the shop's been quiet without you there, and he's been a little low. He doesn't have his helper anymore."
I pressed my hand over my eyes and took a shaky breath. "Tell him I miss him too."
"I will. And you'll come home for the holidays? Daniel and Andrew are planning to come in for Christmas, and it'd mean the world to your father if all three of you were here."
"We were thinking of hosting… You could come here?" We hadn't spoken at all, but the idea of returning to Grove Hill made me feel gut sick.
