I squeezed around him and his breath stuttered. Then his hips twitched forward involuntarily, pushing even deeper.
"Look at me, Sara." His hips pumped slowly as our gazes locked together. It was probably the most intimate we'd ever beentogether and now after all this time. It wrecked me. I wanted to cry.
"I want you to stay away from Lightning, okay?" he said, and I wanted nothing more than to do just that. I bit my lip and nodded, then pulled him down for another kiss.
Now when he slid into me I felt consumed and whole. My chest burned with emotion, and I held him against my body hard. Garret continued thrusting into me and with every pump of his hips his pelvis rubbed my clit. I felt myself building again.
"Yes," I whimpered, clawing at the sides of his hips.
"You're mine, you know… You always have been." His words tangled up in my chest making me want to cry and pushing my arousal at the same time. It was conflicting, but hearing how possessive he felt over me made me want him more.
"God… It's so good, please…"
"Squeeze me now, come on, baby. Show me how close you are."
The way his breath dusted my cheek and danced across my ear pushed me right over the edge again. I convulsed and clenched on him, bucking under his weight until he growled and nipped my earlobe. Then I felt his heat surge through my core and moisten his thrusts. He pulsed inside me, grabbing my outer thigh hard, and kissed me again.
When he slowed and finally stopped, his heart was pounding, and my breathing was ragged. I felt him draining out of me onto the grass, and I swore I heard noise up at the house. But the moment was too intense to interrupt.
"What's happening with us Garret?" I asked, not intending to upset him, but he pulled out and rose to his knees, tuckinghimself away. Then he found my pants in the darkness and laid them over my thighs. I felt like I'd upset him, but he didn't say that. "I mean," I mumbled while I tried turning my jeans out. "You told me you don’t want a relationship but you also tell me to stay away from Tony, like you're claiming ownership or trying to protect me."
He was quiet for a while. I got my jeans sorted and pulled them on while he sat in the grass beside me, staring out across the meadow with his elbows on his knees. The silence between us wasn't uncomfortable but it wasn't easy either. He was choosing his words carefully, which meant he either didn’t want to hurt me, or he didn't know the answer to my question.
"I don't know what this is, Sara," he finally said. He sounded tired and defeated. "I'm not going to stand here and lie to you about it."
"That's not really an answer." I sat next to him and picked a blade of grass, preparing my heart to shatter all over again. I didn't assume he'd have changed, and I let myself hope for something again when I knew better.
"It's the only one I've got right now." He rubbed both hands over his face and exhaled. "All I know is that as long as you're in town, I don't want this to stop. Whatever this is. I want to keep seeing you."
"And when I leave? Because my life is in St. Louis now…"
Garret didn't have an answer for me but his inability to speak was the answer. I knew that. We were so addicted to each other and still so far apart. There was no way this would work. He couldn’t make the commitment, and I had a secret I could never tell him. It didn't matter that we both felt helplessly drawn toeach other. We would only continue to hurt each other over and over.
I opened my mouth to speak but the lights behind Dad's shop flicked on flooding the meadow in yellow light that almost reached us. I shot to my feet so fast I almost fell over, and Garret stood up, helping me steady myself.
"Sara?" Andrew's voice cut through the darkness. "Sara, where are you?"
My blood went cold. I grabbed Garret's arm and we both froze, but it was too late. Andy was already marching into the darkness, and his sharp silhouette showed he was carrying Dad's shotgun, held up in our general direction.
"Oh, my God," I hissed at Garret. "Go. Now."
But instead of panicking, Garret let his head drop and backed away. When his hand broke contact with my arm, I felt a knife go through my chest. He didn't have to say a word for me to know how he felt. He slunk directly toward my brother who held the gun on him from a distance.
"Who the hell is that?" Andy shouted.
"Andy, put the gun down," I spat, as Garret stalked into the glow of the floodlight and kept walking. When the light revealed him fully, I saw his head down, and his shoulders drooping. Garret was as upset as I was.
"Is that a Gravehound? Sara, is that a goddamn Gravehound on our property?"
Garret didn't turn around. He mounted his bike and kicked it to life, and the engine roared loud enough to wake every neighbor within a mile as he revved it up. Andy kept the shotgun trainedon him as he pulled out of the shadows and onto the gravel path, and I watched his taillight disappear down the road before I could even think about breathing again.
Andy lowered the gun and turned on me. "Was that Crank?"
I didn't answer because my voice wasn't cooperating and there wasn't a lie in the world convincing enough to cover what this looked like. I had grass in my hair, and Garret's cut on the ground next to me where I stood shoeless and heartbroken.
"Are you kidding me, Sara?" Andy's face was red and the vein in his temple was pulsing. "You're out here rolling around in the dirt with a biker? With him?"
"Keep your voice down. Kip is sleeping." I snatched Garret's cut off the ground and stomped toward him, hoping to walk right past and into the house and put this behind me. I'd really done it this time. Andy would tell Daniel and Mom and I'd have to hear it from them now too.
