"I could name a few times," Butch said with a grin.
Then they were out the door. Their bikes fired up and the sound of them faded down the road until the trailer park was quiet again, but my mind was louder than ever.
It was obvious how much I wanted her—probably loved her if I was truthful with myself—and protecting her was more important than my ego and what I wanted. Lightning was out of control. Sending Sara away was better for her though it hurt like hell to admit it.
So when my phone buzzed and I saw her name on my screen I picked my phone up to read the message.
Sara: 8:02 PM: I'll have your cut. I'm sorry about Andy. He had no right to come out there with a gun and I told him as much.Thank you for listening to me the other night. It meant more than you know.
I read the message twice and set the phone face down on the cushion beside me. This would be the hardest thing I'd ever done, but I honestly had to tell my own heart no. I couldn’t have her. Because I had to keep her safe from men like me, just the way Peter wanted.
I'd finally come around to see his reasoning, and I hated myself for ever putting her in harm's way.
19
SARA
I had been staring at the numbers on this new accounting software I set up for Mom for three hours and my eyes were bugging out. The Griddle was doing well enough. Tips were up, the evening cook was earning his keep, and the morning crew had settled into a rhythm that didn't require me hovering over every ticket.
If things held steady, the diner would support Mom on its own without her being so hands on once I left. It wouldn't make her rich, but it would keep the lights on and the fridge stocked, and that was all she needed.
The hospital bills were another story. Dad's care was hemorrhaging money faster than any of us could earn it, and the final expenses when the time came would fall on Danny and Andy. Their racing earnings would cover it, but barely.
I closed the laptop and went to find Kip. He was on the living room floor building a tower out of blocks while Tiffany sat cross-legged beside him, handing him pieces when he pointed at them. It was a normal sight, but tonight it made my heart feel sad. Myfather lay dying in a hospital bed, and this boy would never know his father at all. That was my fault, and I had no way to fix it.
"I'm heading out," I told her. "I promised Mom I'd bring her a sweater, but I have to stop by the diner on the way."
"Take your time," Tiffany said. "We're good here."
I knelt down and pulled Kip into my arms and kissed the top of his head. He squirmed but let me hold him for a few seconds before wiggling free and going back to his tower. He was so innocent. He knew nothing about the drama around him or the things I had done to protect him and this family. No one did.
"Mommy, no!" he snapped, pushing me back from his tower like he was afraid I'd knock it over prematurely. Tiffany snickered as I stood.
"Sorry, baby. I'll be back tonight."
I grabbed a sweater and Garret's cut from where I'd folded it in the bottom of my closet, tucking it into my bag so nobody would see it. I was halfway to the door when Andy came out of the kitchen with his keys in his hand.
"I'll drive you," he said, offering a sheepish look. I was still mad at him, enough that we hadn't spoken in a few days, and I didn't want to be trapped in a car that long. I didn't want to hear his lectures. I was an adult and I could do what I wanted.
"I can take my bike, Andy." I tried pushing past him and he stopped me by touching my arm.
"I want to see Dad anyway. We can ride together." He said it casually but I could hear the remorse in his tone. He'd been softer with me the last few days, not quite apologizing for theshotgun incident but circling around it like he knew he went too far but couldn't bring himself to say the words.
I didn't have a good reason to refuse him either. If we were both going the same place it would conserve gas, which meant saving money. Besides, he would throw a tantrum and make me feel even worse if I rejected his offer of kindness. I had no choice but to go with him.
"Fine," I said. "But I need to stop by the Griddle first…" I rolled my eyes as I walked past him, now thinking of how I'd get Garret's cut back to him without Andy seeing me and causing more problems.
"Alright I'll grab my jacket," Andy said, rushing back toward his old bedroom.
He didn’t say much to me while he drove, though I wasn't much in a talking mood. I kept my eyes on the window watching the fields whir past as he sang along to the radio. That was how guys were. They could punch each other’s lights out and as long as they could sit in the same room with the person in peace after that they thought it was settled.
But I was still furious with him, and I let him believe everything was getting back to normal.
He pulled into the diner lot and I told him I'd be right back. I grabbed my bag and went around the side of the building to the back, and Garret was already there, leaning against the wall next to the dumpster with his arms crossed.
He looked tired. There were circles under his eyes and the bruise from the Locust's punch had faded to a yellow-green stain across his cheekbone. He straightened up when he saw me but didn't move toward me.
"Here." I pulled his cut from the bag and held it out. "I kept it folded so it wouldn't wrinkle."
