This is the last thing I need right now.
“Kit’s imagination will get her far,” I say, opening my eyes again and hoping that ends it.
“Not far enough, Dad.” She levels a look at me. “YoulikeClee. Not sure why you can’t just admit it.”
“Kit, enough,” I warn. “We aren’t doing this here.”
“But she likes you too. I know she does.” She pouts. “She looks at you all the time when you’re not paying attention and she pretends she isn’t.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose.
God, if you’re there, give me strength.
My parents trade a heavy glance before Dad springs into action, coffee in his hands. Almost forty years of marriage means they can practically read each other’s minds. His mind hasn’t slipped enough to change that, thankfully.
“I’ve got something for you, Kit-Kat. Let’s go.” He holds his hand out to Kit. “Grammy and I decided we’d redecorate your bedroom.”
“Youwhat? Oh, wow!” Kit practically shrieks.
I bite back a smile.
“A new bookshelf, painted by yours truly. That pretty dark-green color you wanted. Wanna see?”
Kit looks at me, obviously torn.
She’s clever enough to sense that she’s being buffaloed away, but the allure of books is too great. She pushes her kitchen chair back and takes her grandfather’s hand.
“Don’t leave without me, Dad. I wanna say goodbye.”
I nod.
Dad follows more slowly, beaming me a wink for good luck like he knows I’ll need it.
Damn it all.
I heave out a sigh that says I’m so not in the mood for this as I look at Mom. “We don’t have to do this now, you know.”
“But we do, young man.” She leans forward. “It’s been a long time since everything went sideways with Charli, dear. You know that.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m ready to jump into anything unworkable. I’m not looking for a relationship, Mom.”
“You don’t have to. Sometimes they find you when you don’t expect it. By the way, just because this Blackthorn girl follows her passions doesn’t mean she’ll break your heart again. From everything Kit told me, she’s her own woman. I hope you realize—”
“Mom, I know. That’s not the point, we’re not right for each other, I—” I break off, realizing I’m basically admitting we’re together. Wewere.Fucking incredible. “We’re not together, Mom. Even if I was interested—and I’m not—there are too many reasons it would never work. Cleo and me, we’re night and day. Different seasons of life.”
“Holden, youchooseto be winter,” she says sympathetically. “It doesn’t have to be this way. Yes, I know it’s so hard to trust anyone again after what she put you through, and then her health… but Son, you can’t stay trapped in the past. You can’t stay frozen.”
I clench my jaw.
“Charli has nothing to do with this. It’s not like I’m depriving myself because I’m afraid Cleo will run off and leave me hanging.”
“What then?” Mom frowns. “You’re afraid of something. Clearly.”
I sigh, staring at my coffee.
Arthritis and age haven’t dulled my mother; she’s still sharp as a blade. She has this way of making me feel like a confusedfourteen-year-old kid again, confronting my first crush and braces all at once.
“We’re two different people. It’s not hard to understand.” I steel my voice. “Not everyone’s compatible. If they figure that out upfront, it saves a lot of grief.”
