He clenched his jaw. He was a lot of things, not many of them good but he’d never, despite all his rage, lay hands on a woman.
“Fuck you, Ghost.”
He shrugged and snickered. “Calling it like I see it, VP. It was quite the fucking outburst. But as long asyoufeel better.”
Cross didn’t feel better. He didn’t need anyone to tell him he’d been an asshole. The way he’d handled that meeting, coming for her, it was shitty.I fucking know that.Though, he wasn’t willing to outwardly admit it.
“She’s got no place in our clubhouse.”
Ghost jerked his chin. “Well, you made that known, and for an update, she’s not here anymore. She hauled ass the second you left the room.”
“But,” Cue added. “Not before she thanked us for taking the time to meet her.”
Cross jerked his gaze to his brothers and caught Ghost smirking.
“Yeah, she did. And when Cleo got upset ’cause you were such a dick, Addison tried to comfort her. Imagine that shit, right? You walk into the fucking lion’s den, knowing you’re the most hated person in the room, even though you’ve done nothing wrong to the club. And then you try to play off your own existence as nothing special, only to have your ass handed to you.” Ghost snorted. “And then you thankusfor our time?”
Cross hardened his stare. His anger was elevating but not toward his brothers. It was festering within himself.
“You think you were original back there, brother? She’s only here cause he’s dead? Think that’s the first time she’s ever thought that? Most people wouldn’t say it out loud, but not a doubt in my mind she’s said it to herself hundreds of times. You’re so good at reading people, but you can’t see the guilt she’s carrying? It’s practically fucking oozing out of her pores.”
Ghost shook his head and walked out of the room with one parting line. “It was a cheap shot, brother.”
When the door slammed shut, every muscle in his body tightened, and he fisted his hands.It was a fucking cheap shot.Cue stayed silent, making no move to leave. Cross had grown tighter with him since Knox’s death. Cue wasn’t a man of many words, but when he spoke people listened. He was honest and fair.
Cross sensed he’d regret it, but he asked anyway.
“Fucking say it, Cue.”
“You knew exactly what she meant. We all did. But you saw the opening and took it. You want her to feel bad, Cross? You want her to feel guilty ’cause he’s dead and she gets to live? You want her to be responsible for your grief? For the club’s and Cleo’s ’cause we lost him? If that was your intention, well done, brother.”
Cross stilled, repeating in his mind everything Cue had said. He’d had no intention of saying anything to her at the meeting. His initial plan was not to show up. He didn’t need to know Addison. He didn’t want to because she had Knox’s heart.
“I get it, Cross.” Cue scoffed. “Trust me, nobody understands this better than Ghost and I do. Grief is probably the worst fucking emotion ’cause you can’t escape it. It’s always gonna be there. Good days and bad days, but thirty years from now, you’llstill miss him, and that grief isn’t gonna go away. It’ll always stay with you.”
Cross cupped his jaw.
“Revenge helps, I think. I know it did for me. But it didn’t bring Knox back. Nothing will. And you’re still stuck with that grief and looking for someone else to blame. Addison’s an easy target.” Cue paused. “And an undeserving one.”
Cross grasped his hips and bowed his head, feeling the heavy weight of his own guilt.
“She didn’t say anything,” Cross said.
“What?”
He shook his head and turned to Cue. “Why the fuck didn’t she come back at me?”
“’Cause she thinks you’re right. She wouldn’t be here if Knox was still alive. And since he’s not, that somehow falls on her.”
“I didn’t fucking blame her for his death.”
“You didn’t have to. She’s already carrying around enough guilt to cloud her mind.”
And I just added to it.
Chapter Eight
Addison stood outside of the bar, peering down the road. She was waiting on Cleo. Her new friend had asked her to come over again, but after everything that had gone down at the clubhouse, Addison chose to keep their future get-togethers on common ground. It actually took a day for them to make plans. That was on Addison. When Cleo called the next day, Addison feigned an upset stomach and headache. If Cleo read through the lie, she never made it known. Though there was no denying the disappointment in Cleo’s tone.
