May’s breath caught. “The idea seems so lovely, yet… it’s not how things go, do they?”
“No,” Hannah said with a dreamy smile, “They do not. Our story was far from the fairytales our nurses read. With us, there was no rulebook courting or flowery gallantry, and yet, it was the best thing to ever happen to me.Heis the best thing to happen.”
To love someone like that… May would have liked to pretend she did not understand. But she thought of Elias’s serious face and the way he leaned into her to whisper something naughty. The way he would catch her any time she teetered. The way he filled her heart with so much love that every beat felt like a clock counting down to the inevitable.
“How did you find the strength to risk your heart, knowing it could all be in vain?” The question turned into a whispered confession as May busied herself with hat ribbons.
“You owe it to yourself to try. Do you not wish to have all that happiness?”
Happiness. What would it look like? Her, waking up in Elias’s arms, watching him read the paper as she ate her breakfast. Strolling alongside each other, sharing a private joke. The duke’s lips being the last thing to grace her before bedtime, and the first to greet her on the following day…
She was not made for such grand things. Having notions was all well and good, but at some point, dreaming turned into delusions.
“I am not sure so much happiness could ever come my way.”
“But it will. And, you know… some people are worth getting your heart broken.”
The words found their mark. May’s heart was already cracking. Perhaps, it was time to see whether it would be shattered or healed.
“I cannot bear to see you so sad! Here, let me be your fairy godmother and send blessings your way. This is my favorite perfume. It’s been my lucky charm so far. Let it be yours, too.” Lady Hannah beckoned her closer as she took a Floris perfume bottle off the vanity. May scarcely dared breathe as the lady uncorked the vial and generously dabbed the perfume on May’s neck, wrist, and temples. A soothingly familiar smell of lavender, amber, and musk wrapped around her. “All shall be well.”
“Thank you—truly. You’ve been so kind to me.”
“Of course, my dear.” Hannah smiled, playfully flicking May’s chin upward. “You are family, after all. Now, shall we get back to it?”
May smiled with difficulty.
As they went about their day, teasing and chatting, there was only one thing on May’s mind. It was time to be honest and risk it all. She owed it to herself and to Elias to admit her feelings and clear up the web of her own lies. He deserved to know—she couldn’t imagine disappearing without another word, like a coward. She might not be a lady, but she would be brave enough to tell the duke how she felt.
Gone was Southam House’s usual tranquility and peace. Instead, the nearing nuptials brought forth a maddening flurry of last-minute arrangements. Elias marched to his sister’s sweeping rooms, exasperated with the countless interruptions by shop clerks, attendants, and others hounding the halls of his home.
“Sister, I beg you—” The words died on his lips as the doors opened to reveal a million hat boxes, napkins, flowers, and God almighty knows what else. No space was left unoccupied in the whole house. The only one missing was his sister, although her favorite perfume lingered in the air, coating the room in the fresh aroma of lavender.
The room was not entirely abandoned, however. He found May sitting on the divan, eyes closed. Elias took in the sight of her with a rush of feeling. No matter how many times he saw her, it was like he’d just uncovered the most precious treasure in the world.
“You’re not avoiding me, are you?” he inquired with a quirk of his lips.
She would not have to for much longer. Just a few more days before Elias would bid farewell to his sister and release May from their agreement. He could not keep her indefinitely—not with the weak pretext of employing her, anyhow.
May did not answer. Her head bobbed sideways, and she made no effort to keep it upright. A gentleman ought not to stare, but the duke found himself too enchanted by the picture before him. Her pink lips pressed in a narrow line, a soft expression on her features, the steady rise and fall of her shoulders as she went on dreaming… In that moment, Elias knew that all the painters of the world were wrong when they painted their angels, for they’d never beheld the real beauty of one. Yet he had.
Very slowly, Elias sank onto the seat next to her and gently wrapped his arm about her forearm, pulling her toward him until her head rested comfortably on his shoulder. To think that this was their first moment alone since he made her promise to stay until the wedding. As the ceremony neared, Lady May helped with his sister’s affairs all too readily, leaving him no free time to steal.
That was another thing Elias wished to talk to Hannah about. She had to stop taking advantage. No wonder May was tired: she was expertly managing the onslaught of visitors as if it were child’s play. She spent days negotiating, bargaining, and diffusing social situations with an ease most established matrons of thetonwould envy. It was not her job, but she did it all too well.
She would make an excellent duchess. My duchess.
Whatever resistance he had at being honest with himself was washed away by these waves of feeling. His shields were too far gone to pretend any longer: Elias had fallen in love with this woman. Curses, he wished nothing but a chance to spend therest of his life by her side. It seemed so obvious in retrospect, and yet, Elias couldn’t help but wonder if May knew just how much she meant to him.
There was no longer room for any misunderstandings. He had to let go of the excuses he used to delay May’s departure and speak the unvarnished truth. Damn it all, he had to tell May he loved her.
“Elias…” May stirred, caught in a dream. “Don’t leave me.”
“I am here. I will always be here,” he whispered, lips brushing across her forehead. When he lifted his eyes, it was to find his sister standing in the doorway with the oddest expression.
Elias stared back, unflinching. “Your cousin is a little tired.”
“Oh, I see,” his sister said, as if she had any idea at all.
