They left the room without another word, and then it was just him again—alone, like he ought to have been all along.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
When sunrise came, Elias was still sitting in the library, woken out of his stupor by a maid who’d come to tend to the fireplace. She screeched when he shifted in the chair, taking off with a thousand apologies until he was left to his solitude once more.
Everything in his experience told him he’d done the right thing. That he’d protected himself from ill intent. Then why did he feel so rotten? So... shamed?
Fear, his sister had called it. Is that what it was?
He had not moved for hours and hours. May’s words would not leave his mind.
I know I am worth more than that.
He’d caught her in a deception, so how come she’d left the conversation with all the integrity he’d found himself wanting? He’d exposed her without qualms, unwilling to give her a moment to explain. Because she would have spun her story, would have made him believe it and entrap him into a life he did not want.
Except that he did. He wanted it so badly that his entire body rebelled against his mind with incessant longing. But, in this matter, Elias had to be his own executioner. The axe had already fallen, with no chance of survival.
Elias got up, shaking the torpor from his limbs.
Dukes did not get to sulk in corners. He had a household to lead, bridges to burn, and amends to make. He could start there, at least.
He headed to his sister’s quarters to find servants buzzing all around as they packed her belongings into trunks and coffers. He stood in the entry for quite a while before Lady Hannah emerged, no doubt alerted by her maid, and gave him a long, hard stare.
“What’s this?” he asked simply.
“I am leaving for Newcastle as soon as I am packed.”
“Hate me, if you like, but this is no reason to abandon your home.”
“This is my home no longer.”
“I sought to prove beyond a reasonable doubt the truth of Lord Spencer’s intentions, yet now that I’ve done so, you’d rather turn a blind eye—”
“I do not wish to talk about how you hired our cousin May to pursue Lord Spencer.”
“She’s not our—” Elias bit back the words. One confession at a time. “Yes, I did hire her, and for one reason only: to ensure you would not give your hand to someone undeserving. Someone who would rendezvous with another woman under the cover of darkness at the mere lure of a fortune. So why are you intent on eloping with him?”
“For God’s sake, Elias, he was waiting in the library for me!”
“You?” Had the blackguard seduced his sister already?
“A man is allowed certain liberties toward his wife, is he not?”Wife?“Oh, do not look at me so with your big, bespectacledeyes. Are you truly so surprised you are not the only liar in this house?”
The earth might as well have turned to the sea beneath the duke’s feet. “When?”
“Lord Spencer rescued me from a dreadful fate at the hands of kidnappers during my recent trip to the Highlands. We fell in love. He would rather have asked for your permission, but I wouldn’t tell him you were my brother. Because nobody but me decides my own fate, brother.”
Elias laughed humorlessly. “I knew he was hiding something.”
“Only because I asked him to,” said Hannah with a sigh. “Despite it all, I hadn’t the heart to disappoint you. I wished for you to get to know Spencer, to love him as I do. But Father poisoned your heart so much that you can’t even tell when you’ve lost it.”
“So, this charade of a wedding… was meant for me?” So much of it made sense, and yet, the revelation brought forth a thousand more questions, each more humiliating than the last.
Something softened in his sister’s eyes as she registered the amazement on Elias’s features. “You should have known by now: I care not for what thetonthinks of me. I am quite content to never see the lot of them ever again. So, yes, I would have done it for you. But Lord Spencer and I are already bound together in the eyes of God.”
“What if you are wrong? What if you live to regret it?” He took steps toward her, only to halt midway. Where did this lunacy, this bravery of hers, come from? Did any of it lie dormant within him still, or did it abandon Elias altogether?
“I do not know what the future holds. All I know is how he makes me feel. Whatever comes, I will not regret the moments we share and the love I give. I know I would be happier with him than without him. What more do I need to know to take a leap of faith?”
