AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘I just want you to enjoy everything, Mia,’ Alessandro said. ‘This evening away is meant to be a break for you, although I know you’re worried about leaving Ella.’
‘I know it is.’ Mia rubbed her arms as if she were cold and then walked to the French windows, before opening them and stepping out onto the terrace. After a second’s pause Alessandro followed her, breathing in the balmy air as he joined her at the railing overlooking the city far below.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked quietly. ‘This isn’t just about leaving Ella for a few hours.’
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s about…about us.’ She glanced at him, her face troubled. ‘You’ve been wonderful these last few weeks, I know. I can admit that.’
‘Admit it?’ Alessandro tried to keep his voice light, even though he was a bit stung by her words, the reluctance of them. ‘You almost sound as if you don’t want to.’
‘I don’t,’ Mia admitted. ‘It’s just… I’m scared, Alessandro. I told you I never wanted to marry or give my life over to another person. A man. And yet here I am.’
‘Yes, but…’ Alessandro had to feel his way through the words. ‘It doesn’t have to be something to resist, Mia. We were both in agreement, I thought, about what our relationship could look like. Companionship, trust, affection.’
‘And not love.’ She spoke flatly, making him hesitate.
‘Have you changed your mind on that?’
‘No.’ She sounded disconcertingly firm. ‘It’s just difficult to trust you.’
‘Have I ever done anything to make you distrust me?’ he asked, stung again by her honest admission. What had he done to make her so wary?
‘Not recently.’
‘What is that supposed to mean?’
‘You spend your
life taking over other people’s businesses,’ she said after a moment. ‘And sometimes that feels like what you’re doing with me.’
Disconcerted, Alessandro did not reply for a moment. Yes, in his own mind he had compared his relationship to Mia in terms of a takeover, although perhaps a merger was a better way of putting it, but it wasn’t hostile. At least, it didn’t have to be.
‘I thought you’d agreed this was best for Ella. And I thought you’d enjoyed the last few weeks.’ He couldn’t keep an edge of affront from entering his voice. It was hardly as if he’d kept her in prison. ‘Please believe me, Mia, I am not trying to force you into anything.’
‘There are more ways to force someone than strong-arm them.’
‘What are you trying to say?’
‘I don’t know,’ Mia said helplessly. ‘Like I said, I’m scared, Alessandro. You can be ruthless. I know you like to be in control. I understand why you do, but those things scare me.’
‘I am hardly going to be ruthless with my family.’
‘How do you even know that? You’ve kept yourself from relationships for so long. Do you even know how to be in a family relationship, one that isn’t driven by anger or revenge?’
Hurt flashed through him at her words. ‘I can try,’ he said quietly, and her face crumpled a little bit.
‘Do you really want to?’
‘Of course I do,’ he snapped, but he heard the anger in his voice and he knew it was wrong. He just didn’t know how to show her how he felt. How much he felt. ‘I know I like to be in control. But I’m not dictating things to you, Mia. I’m trying to have a real relationship with you, even if I don’t understand yet all that it means.’ He felt far too vulnerable having admitted that much, and so he pressed his lips together and stayed silent.
‘I’m sorry.’ She smiled sadly. ‘And I need to try, too. I’m sorry I’m so reluctant. It’s just…’ She paused, and he waited, sensing she was going to say something more. But then she sighed and shook her head. ‘I’d better go and choose my dress.’ Her lips twisted wryly. ‘That’s at least one choice I can make.’
The stylist arrived a short while later, and Alessandro busied himself with work while the stylist and her assistants commandeered the bedroom for their beautifying purposes.
As he half listened to the sound of the women chatting in the next room, he found he could not focus on the work in front of him. He kept going over his conversation with Mia in his mind, as if testing it for weaknesses. Why was Mia so wary with him still? What more could he do to gain her trust? He felt as if she questioned his every motive, which made him question them, as well. Was he doing the right thing?
Of course he was. For Ella’s sake as well as theirs. He just needed to be more patient. Perhaps Mia just needed more time.
Still, he couldn’t keep from feeling a flicker of irritation along with hurt. He’d been trying so hard for the last few weeks, and he’d given Mia everything. What possible cause could she really have to complain? So he liked to be in control. That was hardly the worst thing, was it? It wasn’t as if he was abusing his position of power, or forcing her to do something against her will.
