“I…”
But Bastian didn’t finish. He simply turned on his heel and fled the room like it was on fire.
I stood there for a moment, for too long, if I was honest with myself, then slumped into the chair again. “What… the hell was that?”
Rowan
Bastian had managed to piss me off so much that I decided to go for a walk. Maybewalkwas the wrong word; maybe a stomp around the forest was more accurate? Either way, I was feeling no less irritated when I returned to my office to find a certain best friend of mine sitting in my chair.
“Why are you at mydesk? Hmm? Move.”
I strode across the clinic, some distant part of me realizing I was probably being a little short with Griffin, who was lounging with his feeton my desk, but the rest of me did not care.
“Jeez. Who peed in your coffee?” Griffin leaned up, his feet dropping to the ground. He was quick to stand, offering me the chair with a wide sweep of his arms, like he was a game-show host or something.
“I don’t want to hear it, Griffin. I’m—ugh, why do they have to be such assholes?”
Griffin shook his head, blinking several times, and I could tell that I’d changed gears just a tad too fast on him. And yet again, I didn’t have it in me to care. The lingering anger and frustration were just too much.
And it was all those damned Alphas’ fault.
“I have a feeling we’re talking about your ma?—”
After shoving past him and collapsing into the chair, I countered, “Don’t call them that. They’re inconveniences, annoyances, not… just no.”
I fell back into the chair, reaching a hand to the bridge of my nose and squeezing. I’d been battling this headache since the moment Orsen had swept into the room and nearly beat Griff to death. I hadn't really had a moment of peace since then. I was just too damn tired. I’d been helping the horde as best I could, but between the aforementioned Alphas and theirlovelyhealer, I was a bundle of raw nerve endings ready to snap.
“Rowan, you look stressed out. Take a breath. It’s notthatbad.”
With one eye open, I shot Griffin a look. He was standing a few feet away, leaning on my desk with his arms crossed, the picture of nonchalance. I sort of hated him for it, especially considering he’djustrecovered from Orsen’s bullshit.
I closed my eyes again, breathing as he’d suggested, despite my annoyance. “You’rekidding me, right? Orsen played Whack-a-Mole with your face!”
Griffin scoffed through a laugh. “Oh, Ro. I know it’s been a rough start, but the guys aren’t all that bad. You’re judging them a bit too quickly, I think. Granted, your introduction to them was a little… messy.”
That made me sit straight in the chair, glaring at Griffin, even as my temples throbbed. “Have you lost your mind? Orsen beat the crap out of you. You’re still wearing the bruises! Oh, and need I mention that he also saw fit to grab me and force his stupid mouth all over me?”
Looking a little wounded, Griffin pulled back into himself, sighing. “All right, fair point. But you have to look at this from their perspective.”
I just glared.
“I mean it, Ro. They lost their mate, the one person who made them feel whole. Upped and disappeared. And now, here you are? That’s not only a massive change and more than enough to swallow without some issues, but it’sstilla mystery. The amnesia means you don’t know what happened. Theydon’t know what happened. And as far as they’re concerned, it could happen again. That’s some heavy shit to go through.”
The spark of rage simmering inside me dampened somewhat, and I leaned back into my chair again, eyes tracking to the pile of charts on my desk that I still needed to go through. I’d been distracting myself with patients as much as genuinely treating them. It had felt good to have something normal and predictable to throw myself into with all this new information.
And I guessed… it was new for them too.
My chest pinched at the thought of the guys being forced into that kind of situation. I’d felt truly sympathetic for them when they were strangers and I’d learned that they had been through that, losing their mate and being so adrift without her.
Now that I’d learned that mate wasme, well, I was realizing that it didn’t change the fact I did feel sorry for them, even if they’d handled the situation with the grace of a linebacker.
The look on Orsen’s face before he… yeah.
Still, they’d reacted poorly, and I had every reason to be upset with them. I also understood there was no obviously right way to deal with the fuckery that was our situation. It was just so odd. They knew me intimately, from what I understood. But I didn’t know them. The shock, the proximity, it was all bizarre to me because any memory I’d had of them had been wiped clean by whatever had happened. I was at a huge disadvantage, and I didn’t like it one bit.
Then again, at least my amnesia meant I wasn’t suffering the loss of my mates like the Alphas were.
Sure, living with the scars, recovering, and not understanding what had happened, had been its own personal torture. But I’d been able to get back my life to some degree, with help, of course. I wasn’t living with grief over lost mates.
