I take a deep breath and reach for my phone again. Might as well get it over with and see what the prick has to say. Spence kisses my shoulder and says, “I'm right here.”
I open my phone and go to the text app. Ignoring texts from teammates, coaches, and others, I tap into my text string with my father.
The first text is exactly what I expected.You're a fucking idiot. You just ruined your entire future.
The second one makes my stomach churn:We can spin this, Ryan. You'll come home, go under rigorous treatment with my spiritual advisor. After treatment, you'll denounce your actions and tell the world you were led astray. That you were confusedand you're a straight man who lost his way and is now ready to serve God and country.
I sigh and think to myself,Well, that's on brand.
The third text reads:Call me, Ryan. Don't fucking ignore me. You've put shame and embarrassment on the family name, and you need to answer for it. I need answers. Immediately.
Over my shoulder, I hear a deep rumble come from Spence's chest. “Who the fuck does he think he is?”
Before I can respond, another text comes in:I took care of it. I expect you on a plane tonight to follow-through with what I just promised the good people of this country.
“Oh shit,” Spence says, and my panic response hits. I scramble to open Lexicon, the text-based social platform for the ultra-conservatives. They call posts “Cons”—seriously, does no one think these things through?
And yep, the first Con that pops up on the feed is my father's. I watch as the number of comments, likes, and “re-cons” climbs before my eyes. I read the post:
“I have spoken to my son. He has been led down a path of evil, driven by pain medication from his injury and outside influences with sick intentions. These people are always trying to indoctrinate good people with their agendas. My son has always been a straight, God-fearing man. Ryan will be coming home and undergoing spiritual treatment to release him from the demons that have their grip on him. Please pray for Ryan. God and country first, Senator Buterbaugh.”
I close my eyes as I feel Spence rise up behind me and take the phone from my hand.
“What. The. Actual. Fuck?” Spence bites out.
“Welcome to my hell,” I say.
“You're not actually going to fall in line with this, are you?”
I turn onto my back, scrunch my brow, and look at him. “Are you for real right now?”
Spence shrugs. “Well, I don't know. That can't be easy to say no to—”
I laugh. “Never happening, Spence. He'll make my life a living hell and I'll have to keep a low profile for a while. But I'm not giving him what he wants.”
Spence rolls on top of me and rubs circles on my chest with his fingers. “I'm sorry, Ry. If I hadn't distracted you before your live—”
I grab Spence's chin. “No. This isn't your fault.”
Spence looks down, and I tip his chin back up. “Hey. I may have been shoved out of the closet unexpectedly. And honestly, quite comically. By a cat.”
Spence lets out a soft laugh, but I don't miss how wet his eyes are. I maintain a firm hold on his chin. “But I'm glad it's out there. Yeah, it's not ideal that it was a bare-assed affair, but the announcement was effectively made. I'm not taking it back.”
Spence hums. “But—”
I cut him off. “No buts. Unless we're talking about this cushy tushy.” I reach around and grab two handfuls of his ass.
He barks a laugh, and I quip, “I'm going to have a pillow mold made so I can sleep with my face buried in your ass every night.”
He drops his head on my chest. “Glad to see your sense of humor is intact.”
I rub his back. “Always.”
Spence smiles but then his brow does that scrunchy thing I secretly love. It means he’s paying attention to me. “How are you not freaking out right now?”
I blink at him, and the realization hits me like a slow-moving wave.Huh. I'm really not freaking out. Weird.
I let that sink in for a second, rolling it around in my head. “I don't know,” I say honestly. “Maybe I'll crash out later. But I think...” I pause, trying to put words to this strange, weightless feeling in my chest. “I think I was just so tired of hiding. ButI don't have an NFL career to protect anymore. And I've got people like you in my corner.”
