“Not yet.”
He nods. “Have you forgiven your mother?”
“Nothing to forgive.”
Dr. Walker hums, “Don’t forget, Spencer, forgiveness is for you. To release pain and grief. Rationally, you know her death is not on your hands. But, and this is the important part, until you give her a blanket pardon… you won’t be able to release yourself from the guilt and responsibility.”
I give him the nod of understanding I think he wants from me. Then he asks, “Have you forgiven Travis?”
“Almost,” I say without thinking, surprising even myself with the answer.
Dr. Walker’s eyes sparkle, a little too pleased with himself if you ask me. “Spencer?”
“Hm?”
“Have you forgiven yourself?”
“Working on it.” Seriously? Who am I right now?
Walker smiles with satisfaction. “That’s the most progress I’ve seen in your answers since we started. I look forward to our next session, Spencer.” The corners of his lips hitch up and he adds, “Maybe you'll have a kissing update for me.”
I roll my eyes and he tacks on, “You need to talk to him. He can’t earn your trust if you don’t give him the opportunity.”
Giving him a glare that he knows I don’t mean, I end the call. Before I even get a chance to process a moment of that conversation, my phone buzzes with a notification.
Oh, look! It’s the man of the hour himself. His ears must’ve been ringing.
Dimples:Spennnnnnnnce
Me:Ryan
Dimples:Just checking on you. No one’s giving you shit, are they?
Me:Just Jen, but nothing bad.
Dimples:Good. Will you go to the market with me when you’re done with work? I want to make something special for my sisters when they get in.
Me:Is it a good idea to be in public right now? Maybe you should order groceries.
Dimples:I’m not hiding, Spence.
Me:Fine. I’ll cut out of here early afternoon so you have plenty of time to work on your dinner.
Dimples:Yay! See you later, Perfect.
Turning off my phone, I wonder how I got here. How I traded my carefully curated life for a chaotic carousel of gym dates, accidental hotel trysts, hospital rooms, a live-in booty call who sneaks into my bed every night, retirement village mean girls…and a sex tape scandal.
An overgrown golden-haired puppy with big paws decided I was his human. That's how.
And now I get to meet his sisters. Yay me!
Oh fuck. I’m meeting his family.Goddammit!
First, I have a call to make.
Thirty-Nine
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