Rubbing my temple, I focused on all three imps. “Why are you looking for the master?”
“Minion interviews!” Mimsy exclaimed.
“What? We’ve already hired—” I stopped, because technically, we hadn’t. Dammit, I did not have time to interview new minions. Waving my hand, I said, “Tell them they’re all hired.”
The imps blinked at me, exaggerating the motion by opening their eyes wide and closing them with an almost audible flap. “But what will the master say?”
I didn’t have the time or energy to think up a plausible story, so I simply said, “The master left on a special mission. It’s top secret.”
They gasped in unison.
“I’m in charge while he’s gone. Understood?”
The imps bobbed excitedly in the air and offered me their best salutes. “Yes, sir, Master Wilde.”
I imagined the lord hissing in displeasure at the address. He’d never liked when the minions showed us the same level of respect.
“Tell the new minions they’re hired, assign them a few bedrooms, and I’ll speak with them in the morning.”
“Right-o, we’re on it!” The imps fluttered away. As they turned the corner, one exclaimed, “Wow! A hundred new minions!”
“Wait!” I shouted. They didn’t hear me in time, so I had to run after them. I reached out to grab one imp by the tail but caught myself in time. The master always yanked them around, but I’d seen the genuine pain on their faces when he did so. Abusing minions was not the type of evil I aspired to be.
The imps eventually halted on their own when they noticed me. “Yes, Master Wilde?”
“Did you say there area hundrednew minion applicants?” The last time the lord had recruited new minions, I’d already been working with Treasure to ensure his mission’s success. The lord conducted the interviews on his own and I hadn’t met any of the new staff until I’d returned. He’d hired two crews, one of lacertians and one of orcs, for a total of two dozen minions. Since he was a low-ranking evil mage who offered pitiable wages, I assumed those were the only crews who had applied.
“There’s the goblins, the orcs, the lacertians, thewolves—”
“Wolves?”
“The ones who live in the forest.”
“Those aren’t minions, those areghosts.”
Bitsy shrugged, bobbing up and down with the motion. “They’ve applied for the job.” That cleared up, it continued with its list. “There’s also an ogre, a cyclops, a group of vampires, a manticore,anda minotaur. You don’t see either of them often. Then there’sallthe humans, lots and lots of them, like,so many.”
The variety of creatures washed over me. I doubted all of them had applied to the minion position the first time the lord had posted the offer, which meant something had gone wrong this time. It sounded like the advertisement had lured in every evil creature and band of mercenaries.
I ran both hands through my hair, pushing it back from my face. I didn’t have time to interview a hundred minions.
No, wait, more importantly, I didn’t needanyminions.
I was not the Lord of Grimnight. I wasn’t even a full-fledged evil mage; I was only an apprentice. My ‘plot’ didn’t need any help from minions. In fact, the fewer people hanging around the lair, the better.
But if I didn’t hire anyone, a hundred out-of-work minions might revolt and attack the lair.
I decided to stick with the familiar. “Hire the orcs and the lacertians, send everyone else away.”
“Why those two?” Mimsy asked.
Its companions immediately shushed it and pushed down on its head. One sat on top of it while the other hid it with its body.
I wasn’t the lord; I wouldn’t lash out at Mimsy for questioning me. “We can’t hire vampires because we don’t have enough to feed them—they’ll eventually turn to snacking on the other minions or our prisoners.”
“We don’t have any prisoners,” Mimsy said, pushing aside its companions.
“Exactly.”
