“We providedIDs?” Alex asks in shock. “Oh god, we’re both definitely getting our identities stolen.”
Can you provide copies of the IDs?
I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to exchange that information over chat.
Is there anything else I can helpyou with?
“Ask her who the witnesses were,” I say.
You provided your own witnesses, sir. The necessary information will be included on the marriage license and the marriage certificate.
Can I get a copy of these documents?
A physical copy of your marriage certificate will be mailed to the residence on file within 5-7 Business days. If you need it sooner, your county clerk will be able to provide you with a copy.
Alex grimaces. “Does that sound legit? Or like they’re trying to buy time after scamming us?”
“Of the two of us, you’re the only one who’s been engaged.”
He shoots me an irritated look, a muscle feathering in his jaw. “For less than an hour. And I was less concerned about the actual wedding than getting the ring on her finger.” His eyes drop to my hand resting on the table and the ring still stuck on it.
Is there anything else I can help you with?
If you don’t reply, the chat will automatically close in sixty seconds.
“God, they sound so robotic. Wait, am I even talking to a person? Is this some AI bullshit?” When he types the question out, the representative is quick to reply.
You’re speaking to a real person, sir.
“That’s what an AI scammer would say,” Alex mutters, glowering resentfully at his phone.
The conversation is only frustrating him further. I gently take his phone from him and take over.
Did you also provide the officiant?
Our records indicate you provided your own officiant.
Alex and I exchange a look. “The bartender?” he suggests.
“He didn’t exactly seem like a hopeless romantic, but it’s worth a shot. Though we might have left the bar before getting married.”
“Which is more romantic: getting married in a bar or a random hotel room?”
“It’s a fairly nice hotel room,” I reply, earning a laugh for the loweffort joke.
Will the officiant’s information also be provided on the license and certificate?
Yes.
Do you not remember the name of your officiant, sir?
Up until now, they’d stuck strictly to the professional script. This is the first time I’ve fully believed it’s a human on the other side. I could type out one excuse or another, but it’s not really any of their business why we forgot all the details of this supposed wedding.
Are there any recordings from the wedding?
The package you purchased included both a video of the ceremony and a series of wedding photos. You should have received an email with everything after the ceremony. Would you like me to resend it?
I switch over to my phone and scroll through my unread emails. The only message from Virtual Vows in the main inbox is the receipt, but there, tucked between an ad for penis enlargement and a phony settlement, is another email with the subject line: Alexander Marklin and Euan Blair Wedding.
