“To me.”
Calder stares at me for a moment. Then he starts searching around his desk. He rifles through the stacks of papers, opens a few drawers. Pushes his chair away and ducks his head under for several long seconds. Finally, he picks up the laptop, and the images on screen move swiftly and jaggedly in a way that makes me motion sick.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
From off screen somewhere, he says, “Looking for the prank show’s hidden camera.”
“We’re already on camera—it wouldn’t need to be hidden.”
Calder sets the laptop down. It’s a little off center from before, angled more toward the rest of his home office. In the background, there’s a corkboard covered with index cards. “I hope your other victims have a funnier response because I don’t think mine will get you any good ratings.”
I huff a laugh. “It’s not a prank.”
“Ha ha, ha ha, so funny, but I know thateven youwould not marry someone you’ve known for three days.” He pauses and adds, “If you said you wereengaged,I would believe you. Butmarried?”
“We’re getting an annulment.” The admission burns my mouth like acid.
“You sound disappointed. Do you not want the annulment?”
“No, we both agree it’s for the best.”
“Good. Because you barely know this guy—”
“I know.”
“—and marriage is a big commitment—”
“I know.”
“—and a quickie marriage may have worked for Mom and Dad, but unless this guy is trans, you don’t have to worry about a baby even if you fucked him raw—”
“Calder.”
“—and for all you know, this marriage is part of an elaborate scheme to lure you into his secret lair to perform illegal experiments on you.” At some point in his ranting, he picked up a pen and is now scribbling furious notes on a fresh index card.
“Please do not use my life to fuel your plots.”
“All art is inspired by real life,” he says, though he does look up from his notes and carefully moves them out of frame, as if he’s worried I’ll steal his ideas. “So, you married him and now you’re getting an annulment. Unusual, but fairly straightforward. Where do the complications come in?” It only takes him a second to connect the dots. “You like him, don’t you?”
“If there wasn’t some attraction, I wouldn’t have married him,” I say, aiming for dry but my voice gets clogged in my throat. Alex’s face flashes through my mind, the way his blue eyes crinkle and his cheeks turn into round little apples when he smiles sincerely. The few freckles scattered across his skin, and the darker mark right under his eye. His full laughter at cheesy, old-school special effects. The little furrow in his brow whenever I do something nice for him, and his determination to match me kindness for kindness.
“Shit, Euan.” The levity disappears from Calder’s voice, leaving it heavy and worried. “Sometimes I can’t tell whether you’re chasing true love or heartbreak. I’ve always thought the way you speedrun relationships is dangerous. One of these days you’re going to crash, and I’m worried you won’t survive.”
A muscle ticks in my jaw and it’s a struggle to keep my voice calm. “You’re being dramatic. A drunken marriage followed by a quick annulment isn’t going to destroy me.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t even give yourself time to recover from Nick. Hell, it sounds like you barely tapped on the brakes before picking up another passenger and racing toward the altar.”
“Can you please stop with the car metaphors?”
Calder holds up both hands. “You’re the one driving this conversation.” His lips twitch. “Sorry, I had to.” Lowering his hands, he clasps them in front of him and leans closer to the camera so all I see is his face. “I’m concerned that when all is said and done—when the annulment is finalized and you never see this guy again—”
My heart squeezes at the mere thought of losing Alex so completely.
“—that you won’t recover this time.” Calder’s quiet for a long moment, allowing the words to sink in. “Just be careful. Slow down, take a few deep breaths, and don’t get too attached to the guy.”
He waits for my reply. All I can manage is a curt nod.
“Good. Now, I have to go write about a mad scientist and the poor victim he marries and experiments on.” With that abrupt exit, he stops the video feed.
