“I am fine now. My cousin is handling it,” I explain, crossing my arms and leaning on the door frame.
“Tell me what happened. You sounded scared.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why? You are my girl and you called me freaking the fuck out.” He steps forward.
My posture tightens and he sees it, frowning at me. Shaking my head, I step out onto the porch, needing to move away from him, so I do not reach out and touch him.
“How is Valarie, by the way? Did you help her find her sneakers? Maybe they were under your bed.” My tone comes out snarkier than I would usually use.
“Fuck.” He sighs.
My gut sinks into my bare feet.
The idea of him telling me he slept with her was always a possibility since the phone call. He has a history with Val and that is not something I can compete with. Hell, I do not want to compete with it.
I want to be number one with the man in my life. Like he will be in mine.
“Listen, some shit has gone down but what you heard is not what you think.”
“So, tell me,” I urge.
I want to know the whole story, and it will fester in my mind if he doesn’t tell me. Just like it has since I ended the call. Being scared and heartbroken is a heady mixture of emotions that can spiral out of control.
He sighs deeply, gripping the back of his neck before he looks at me.
“It is club business.”
I scoff, my chest deflating at his words.
“So, I am just supposed to believe you, even though things are stacked against you? Give me some fucking credit, Crash,” I snap, glaring at him.
His eyes soften as he steps forward. “I know, baby, but fuck, this is a fucking mess.”
“Do not call me baby, Not when I called you scared, when I needed you, and you were with your ex-girlfriend and you can’t tell me why.” I shake my head in anger.
Turning away from him and resting my hands on the porch rail, I close my eyes, taking deep calming breaths.
The heat hits my back, and my heart flips in my chest.
“Baby.” He sighs, his hands landing on my hips. I go to move, but he has me trapped.
“Don’t.” My voice is small and I freaking hate it.
Aunt Cass would tell me to pull up my big girl panties and tell Crash to leave, as he just lost the best thing he could have ever had.
“You ghosted me. Stopped returning my calls and texts. Why?” His voice is soft, I almost crumble and lean into his body.
Then I remember, and I scoff before my breath hitches when remembering what Valarie told me about her sleeping with Crash the night before. Just days after taking my virginity.
“Done with me? He is far from done with me, bitch. He was with me last night, sucking on my tits while I rode his cock. My nails were digging into that chest, looking at the tattoo on his collarbone.”
“ Your girlfriend” —I feel sick saying the words— “Thought to inform me that the man I thought I knew, the man who I gave my virginity to, fucked her days after being with me. Even rubbed it in my face that you would never be done with her. History and all that. So excuse me for not wanting to be a part of your history.”
“Why not just come to me instead of jumping to conclusions?” His voice takes on a harder tone and it pisses me off.
“Tell me when I would do that, Crash? You have been busy with the club; we haven’t seen each other in days. Then I get told that. I finally built up the courage to face you, to see if what she said was true. Look where that got me?” I side step him, needing to get away from him.
