But he didn’t answer. He never answered, not my calls and not anyone else’s, for that matter.
Arran hadn’t heard a word from him since they parted ways in Chicago, and Rafe was angry because he had no idea where Dante was, so I was pretty sure he’d had no word either. None of the guys seemed worried, since Dante had taken off like this before, apparently, and had come back again. But I was worried. Dante disappeared when everything went to hell. What if he’d been caught up in it all and killed? His body could have been buried or disposed of and we’d never even know. We’d never see him again, and just the idea of that was more than I could stand.
The man was a complete overprotective, controlling, grumpy asshole. He had hurt me that night, but, worse than that, he’d made me doubt the trust I’d had in him. I didn’t forgive him for that, but that didn’t stop the feelings I had for him either. He was a messy, complicated, and infuriating man, but part of me felt strongly that he was mine, just as he had claimed I was his.
I took a deep breath and fought to calm myself as I slammed my phone down on the nightstand.
A knock on my bedroom door startled me, but I calmed quickly, knowing it was likely Cal or Arran, probably having heard me either during or after my nightmare. One of them always seemed to be close by, especially when I needed them.
“Come in,” I called, but it came out croaky.
“It’s just me,” Dio said as he poked his head in the small gap he made in the doorway. “I heard you from the hall. Are you alright?” he asked softly.
“Just a nightmare,” I replied. “You can come in,” I added when he just paused there.
“Are you sure? I could grab Cal instead?”
“Dio, I’m fine. I don’t need Cal. Either come in, or go back to what you were doing.”
“I was just checking on you before I went to bed myself,” he rambled as he came into the room and closed the door behind him.
“Do you do that often?” I asked.
“Go to bed?”
“No. I know you and Rafe both don’t do that often enough. I meant check on me,” I clarified.
“I worry about you. I knew I’d sleep better if I saw you were sleeping soundly too. I thought Cal would be in here with you?”
“No. I made him start sleeping in his own bed after I kicked his cast by accident, in my sleep. He was in agony for hours afterwards. I don’t want to risk that happening again,” I explained.
“You should have said something. I would have stayed with you.”
“You would?” I questioned.
“Of course I would. I’ll do anything I can to help you feel safe, baby.”
“You just…after that epic meltdown I had…I thought I’d scared you away,” I tried to laugh it off like a joke, but if fell very flat as Dio just watched me unflinchingly.
“Nothing you ever do could scare me away, Cara. I know I haven’t voiced anything, but I hope you know how much you mean to me.”
“I know you care about me,” I hedged.
I was confused when it came to Dio, not aboutmyfeelings. I knew very well what my own feelings for him had become in the time since we had become reacquainted. I no longer saw him in the brotherly way I did when I was a kid. Those feelings were gone, replaced by this strong attraction to him, not just to his amazing looks, but to who he was inside.
To everyone else he was ruthless and meticulous, a planner down to the finest detail. He could come across cold and definitely dangerous. I’d seen him lose his shit that day when I was attacked in the parking lot ofJewels– he’d beaten that monster to death with his bare hands. He was the product of his upbringing, like Rafe. His father was in the family, and Dio had been dragged into it all, just as Rafe had been.
But I saw Dio differently, because to me he was none of those things. To me he was only ever caring, and gentle. His anger was never aimed at me, but used to protect me and the people he loved and cared about. He knew me better than anyone else, other than my brother, ever really could, because I was also a product of my upbringing – part of it in that life that Dio knew so well, with Marcello.
But I was confused about how Dio felt about me. Most of the time I was pretty sure he still saw me as the little sister he protected and helped Rafe to raise when I was a small kid, but then other times I’d catch him looking at me in a way that was most definitely not a sibling kind of look. Plus he called me ‘baby’ which would be weird if he saw me as a sister, right?
“It’s more than that,” Dio sighed as he dropped down to the bed beside me and crawled closer until he was at my side. He was in dress pants and a black shirt again, the same he’d been wearingall day, and they looked well worn, which was unsurprising, considering it was after three AM and he was only just headed to bed. “Rafe is very likely to kill me for this, but I can’t deny my feelings for any fucking longer. I can’t stand back and pretend…fuck!” he hissed as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration.
“Dio.” I placed my hand over the ink on his forearm and just clutched him there. He lifted his head and locked eyes with me, his filled with turmoil, but so much intensity too.
“I’m in love with you, Cara. It terrifies me because I can’t lose Rafe, but I can’t deny the way I feel either. My feelings for you, ever since we found you again…they’ve just gone wild and I couldn’t stop them, not that I wanted to. You’re everything I have ever needed and wanted, baby. We don’t have to rush anything, but you have to know that I fucking love you.”
I didn’t know what to say. My instinct was to argue that I could never be anything anyone needed or wanted, let alone be everything. I should tell him what I had told Cal, and Arran too – that I was a mess, and would never be good enough, or whole enough to make anything meaningful work. I should have done so many things, but only one impulse won out.
