I knew he was close, because as he spoke his breath moved the wild strands of my hair. The relief that rushed through me at hearing his voice, just knowing he was safe, was the first thing that I actually allowed to penetrate my numb thoughts.
“I know that you can hear me. I also know that you’re really scared and hurt right now though too. I want to make it better, but I’m not an idiot. Nothing can make what you just went through better. I…I’m so sorry I c-couldn’t stop it, Cara. If there had been a way…any fucking way…” Cal sniffled, and I was pretty sure from his shaky words that he was crying. He sniffled a few times, then seemed to take a deep breath. “I’m here, okay? That’s what you need to know now. I’m here beside you, and I won’t leave you. If you need some time, we can stay here. Rafe and Dio won’t like it, but I’ll deal with them. Whatever you want, we’re going to do. And when you’re ready to leave here, I’ll be with you then too. Alright? I’m not going anywhere, babe. You’re stuck with me and no matter what, I’ll be at your side.”
I let out a shaky breath. Just to hear him say that, and know he meant it – that he would stay with me. I needed that. I didn’t want to be alone.
“I’ve taken my jumper off, Cara. It’s not exactly clean, but it’s so cold in here. I want to just lay it over you, okay? I won’t touch you.”
He waited a moment, probably for me to protest, but when I didn’t, I felt the heat of his knitted jumper brush over my chilledand raw skin. A shudder ran through me as the heat started to seep through. The shudder hurt, but the heat helped, as did the feeling of being covered up. The idea of Rafe having to see me that way, it had been heartbreaking, but I hadn’t been able to move or speak to ask him to go. I felt like I was frozen in place. Numb.
Cal had barely settled back at my side when a deafening roar echoed through the space. I jumped hard, terrified, then I heard Rafe’s voice.
“No! Dario, no! You’re wrong! You’re fucking wrong!”
There was so much pain in his voice and I knew Dio had told my brother about Gia. More tears slipped down my cheeks as the scene played out behind my closed eyes again. Mikhail firing two shots into her chest. She’d slumped to the floor instantly, but I had seen her face. She’d been looking right at me as the life left her. She blamed me in that moment. I knew it. I felt it.
“It’s okay, Cara. Arran and Dario are with Rafe,” Cal whispered.
But he was wrong. It wasn’t okay. Nothing would be okay. Gia was gone and Rafe was broken. Our mother had poisoned her with hatred and lies. She’d destroyed not just Gia’s young life, but Rafe’s too, all in her search for her next fucking fix!
What Gia had done hurt. She had hated me enough to enjoy me being kidnapped, and spurred on my attackers because she loathed me so much. She had told a madman to put a gun to the head of a man I loved. She had done so many things since I found her again, but part of me knew most of that was on Isabella and her bullshit. Gia had been a kid – sixteen years old. She had been brainwashed with lies and bought with false promises of fairytales that would never come to fruition. Maybe she’d been ill too – mentally ill. I’d never truly know, but a hugepart of me would blame what had happened that night, and for the weeks before, on my mother, so much more than I would ever blame Gia.
The blame lay on my shoulders too, and I knew it. If I had never come back into her life, she would still be breathing right then. She could have been spared what she had been through in the last months. My mother’s lies and vitriol likely would have died with her, and Gia would have moved on. She could have been happy, and lived the life she deserved, but because of me, that would never happen now. Rafe would never forgive me. I had gotten his real sister killed.
“The men who hurt you…they’re gone now, Cara. Arran and some of Rafe’s men took them away. They won’t die easy, I’m sure of that. They’ll pay for what they did to you,” Cal told me. “It’s just you, me, and a couple of Rafe’s men, keeping us safe, in here now. One of the men gave me his coat, so I’m going to lay it over you too, okay? It’s too cold in here and you’re shaking so hard.”
I felt him drape something heavy and much bigger than his sweater over me.
“Not ideal,” he sighed as he dropped back down to the floor beside me. “But it’ll work for now. When you’re ready we can get you wrapped up in it and into a warm car, okay?”
He was steadier now, sounding more like himself. That helped – to have a piece of normal. I wanted more and I found myself lifting my head just slightly so I could see through my wild hair. Cal was laid on the freezing ground opposite me, leaving just a small gap between us. His head was resting on his arm against the ground and as soon as I met his eyes, he forced a shaky smile.
“I’m here,” he told me gently.
Tears filled my eyes again at the sight of all of the blood on his face. There was a bruise on the left side of his jaw and a cut on his forehead. He was hurt, but he was still there, with me, refusing to leave me.
An image of a gun being pressed against his head flashed through my mind, and I instinctively moved my hands towards him, needing to touch him, to know he was really there and safe. My hands were still bound, but I flailed around until his hand grabbed both of mine and held them tightly between us.
“I’m right here, Cara. Right here,” he assured me. He leaned down and kissed the tips of my fingers so softly it brought more tears to my eyes. “I won’t leave you.”
Sobs slipped from me as tears started to pour down my stinging cheeks. The numbness was receding, and through the gaps it made, the pain flooded in.
“Can I pick you up, please babe? I need to hold you. Please,” he gasped as he crowded in closer to me.
I hesitated, not sure I could stand to be touched by anyone, but then I saw his tear filled eyes and I knew this wasn’t just anyone. This was Cal.My Cal. He wouldn’t hurt me, and I needed him.
I nodded, just once, but Cal was watching me so intensely and he saw it.
“Thank fuck!” he uttered as he sat up and got to his knees. He slid his hands under my side and thighs, then lifted me up, pulling me into his front until my head was resting against the soft cotton of his T-shirt and the warmth of his chest. He was being gentle, obviously afraid to hurt me, but I was pretty sure I couldn’t feel any more pain than I already did.
I curled myself around him as much as I could, my bound hands tucked between us. Cal wrapped his jumper, then the stranger’s coat, around me as tightly as he could, then he leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
“I’m so sorry…so sorry…” he whispered as he just held me and pressed his head to the top of mine.
He had nothing to be sorry for, and I hated the pain I heard in his voice because he thought he did. I looked up at him as tears continued to pour. There were tears on his cheeks too, and I wanted to take them away. Instead I did the only thing I could, and reached up enough to kiss the side of his jaw just once. His eyes met mine as I pulled back, and he smiled shakily.
“Let’s get you out of here,” he suggested and I nodded again.
Cal moved to stand with me in his arms, but a deep voice called out, startling me. I cowered on instinct and pressed against Cal as tight as I could, hiding my whole face against his chest as my shaking kicked up a gear again.
