“What about the soldiers you spoke with? Won’t they recognize you and tell your commander what you’ve done? I don’t want you to be punished on my behalf.”
There was a hint of unrest in his eyes. “They care not what I do during these next few days, so long as I return to my duties within a sennight.”
He was lying; she was certain of that. She started to argue again, but then understanding dawned within her. “You bribed them, didn’t you? And if it seems that you are traveling east, they will think you are obeying.”
He neither agreed with nor denied her prediction. It did make sense, however. She supposed another day wouldn’t matter too much, if it meant protecting him from the ire of his Norman commander.
But as they traveled, it bothered her to realize that they were not retracing their path. It made her wonder exactly where Raine had taken them. In fact, it seemed that they were moving forward instead of backwards. The uneasy suspicions were hard to silence, but she told herself that she had never been to this part of Éireann before. One meadow looked the same as the next.
But she was beginning to wonder if there was a reason for her misgivings.
They arrived at the settlement in the late afternoon. Raine hardly spoke to Carice at all, for fear that he would reveal too much. They were only two days’ journey from Tara, and his misgivings heightened. He didn’t want to see Carice’s eyes fill up with hatred toward him—not after he had fought so hard to take care of her.
You’ve grown too close.
His commander’s words were true enough. Raine had intended to distance himself, to be her escort and nothing else. But when she’d raced him on the ice, when she’d slept in his arms, some of the emptiness had abated. Being with Carice had softened the rage he’d held within him during the past few years.She brought a sense of peace that took away the loneliness. With each moment, he found himself wanting to remain at her side.
You will never have a woman like her. Not after what you’ve done.
The knowledge filled him with regret. He followed the guard inside the gates, trying to shut out the voices of guilt. His sisters were depending on him. Their lives rested upon the decisions he was about to make. He had no right to put one woman’s needs before his family’s.
“I feel as if I know this place,” Carice said. “It seems familiar somehow.” Her expression grew discerning, almost thoughtful as she studied their surroundings. Then a moment later, she seemed to dismiss the idea.
He only shrugged. “I have not been here before.” Although it was a smaller property, it boasted a large stone donjon and several outbuildings. Thatched roundhouses encircled the space, and he guessed that the outer walls were twelve feet tall and two feet thick.
The guard introduced them to the steward, and they showed the man Aoife’s ring. Carice explained what had happened, and her words were verified by the guard who had accompanied them. All the while, Raine grew aware of how pale she appeared, as if each step was an effort. Although Carice was putting on a brave front, she needed to rest.
While the guards arranged for more escorts to return to Lady Aoife, the steward ushered Carice and Raine inside. “We are so very grateful that you protected our lady.” He led them into the tower where they were given the finest room. A large bed stoodat one end, while a warm fire crackled within the hearth. “Our household would be glad to prepare a feast for both of you.”
Raine glanced at Carice, and addressed the steward in Irish. “We would prefer to eat within this chamber. My lady is unwell.”
She sent him a sharp look, but didn’t argue. Her face was troubled, as if she didn’t want to admit the pain she was suffering.
“Would you like our healer to examine your wife?” the steward offered, and Raine nodded, not correcting the man’s assumption. He wasn’t about to leave Carice alone for any length of time. Besides that, he did want someone with healing skill to see her.
Seeing her so frail and weak the other night had heightened his worry. Not only because of her sickness, but because she had spoken of death so freely.
“I will get food for you,” he promised Carice, after the steward had left them alone. “Let the healer look at you, and she may have medicines that will help.”
“I know I have become a burden to you,” she said softly. Then she went to stand by the window. “You never wanted this journey with me. Especially when your sisters were in danger.”
The sadness in her voice held more than regret. He didn’t know what had prompted her melancholy, but he didn’t want her to speak of it now. Their time together was running out, and he didn’t want it to be shadowed by regret.
He crossed the room to stand behind her. She rested her hands upon the wall on either side of the window, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. “You were never a burden.”
She turned to him, and her blue eyes were filled with such pain. “I think I wanted to believe that there could be something between us. I always thought you were a handsome man, even if you were stern.”
He drew his hand over the curve of her cheek, uncertain of what to say. “If our lives were different, perhaps there would be something more.”
“But they aren’t, are they? You must return to the Normans...and I must live out the remainder of my days alone.”
He cupped her face, wishing to God he didn’t have to betray her. “I must obey my duties. But that doesn’t mean I regret the moments with you.”
“Don’t say it,” she whispered. “I’ve been foolish to imagine that you might stay with me.”
Mon Dieu, how he wanted that. But he had no right to her. “You know I cannot.”
She lowered her gaze, and he pulled her into his embrace. “These days were a gift to me, and I do not regret them.”
