Look at me being dramatic again.
Still, even though I understand why he didn't stick around, it hurt when he left. I wanted him to stay. As much as I hate to admit, he brings me a sense of comfort, even though I know I shouldn’t seek any from him.
The angel and devil on my shoulders argue over whether he cares about me, and I can’t seem to figure it out. One minute I think he does, and in the next second, he’s back to being a dick.
We’ve been dancing around each other for weeks now, and I can honestly say I think I preferred the ‘good ol’ days’ when he ignored me. It hurt my heart less when I was able to live in my own delululand and write Mrs. Paladino in a heart on my sticky notes.
Okay, so I haven’t actually done that since high school, but regardless. Keeping him on a pedestal felt differentthenthan it doesnow.
He freaking left me here.
“Can I get you something else to drink or eat, sweetheart?” Javier’s mother, Alba, asks, emerging from the kitchen with a white floral apron tied around her.
“No thank you, Mrs. Moreno. I’m doing great.”
“We’re about to move out back in about thirty minutes.” She squeezes my shoulder. “That’s when the real party will begin.”
Ah, yes, therealparty. Because the sixty people in attendance now doesn’t qualify as real.
From across the room, Javier winks at me and lifts his glass in greeting as he talks animatedly amongst a group of men he introduced as his cousins. I’ve taken solitude on a comfortable leather chair near a window that overlooks the front of the grounds. My fingers itch to text Luciano, but I can’t decide if it’d be a good idea or not.
A little more than thirty minutes later, Alba walks down the grand staircase in a lovely, billowing maroon dress and makes an announcement that the festivities are ready to begin and to head outside.
Within seconds, Javier finds me in the crowd and offers me his arm, leading us through the French doors off the back of the house. Immediately, a large white event tent comes into view, and as we enter it, the beauty of what’s inside steals my breath.
It’s set up like a wedding reception, with round tables throughout, adorned with black silk tablecloths and maroon runners, the same shade as Alba’s dress. Fairy lights twinkle overhead, strung across the top of the tent, and candles flicker on every surface, giving the space a warm glow, which is amplified by the warmth of the outdoor heaters.
“Maroon was papá’s favorite color,” Javier explains as I marvel at how lovely everything looks.
“Had I known the celebration would be so formal, I would have dressed nicer. I could have worn something maroon.”
“You look gorgeous. Truly. Your beauty has been the talk of the family tonight. Come, let's find a seat.”
We’re stopped no less than three times by new guests who have arrived, and I make sure to slip into my role of ‘wife’ as well as I can. I smile, nod, and say all the right things at the right times. I lay my palm on Javier’s chest, laugh at all of his jokes, and accept each display of affection he gives in front of his family. All the while, my mind wanders back to Luciano.
Where did he go? What has he been doing all day?
Why hasn’t he texted me? Should I text him?
Jesus, Raina. Needy much? He couldn’t care less.
After what seems like another hour, I take a seat at the table, and Javier excuses himself to make us both plates of food. Against my better judgment, I pull my phone from my purse and text Luciano.
They’re serving dinner. Hungry?
His message comes through immediately, and my heart does a little flip-flop with excitement.
Until I read his message, then the smile falls from my face.
Asshat Lawyer
No.
I should leave him on read, but my fingers have a mind of their own as they fly over the touch-screen keyboard.
I was just trying to be friendly.
Asshat Lawyer
