What I never considered was my lack of thoroughness could be what wrecked my career instead. And whether my career is actually ruined is up for interpretation. Technically, I’ve done nothing wrong outside of filing paperwork for a marriage that doesn’t exist. In the scheme of things, it’s not a big deal. A few phone calls will clear it up, and those will be made as soon as I can articulate a sentence without boiling over. But if this getsout, Gamble will have my head, and my reputation will go up in flames.
What really enrages me, though, is how I unknowingly allowed Javier to have the upper hand this entire time. I gave him the ability to completely destroy my life all because I’m so painstakingly in love with Raina, I wasn’t willing to let her pretend to be engaged to someone else.
But I’d do it again. All of this ripped off the blindfold I’d been wearing and led me to her.
But the realization hasn’t soothed me. I’ll make it my life’s mission to gain Raina’s forgiveness once I’ve finally untucked the tail between my legs, but right now, Javier is too far under my skin for me to let go of the anger and shame.
Thankfully, though, it doesn’t seem like he’s after my job. If he was, there were other ways he could have destroyed me.
No. It’s not my job he’s after, and it’s not Raina. What he wants is to destroy my pride. My confidence.
All because I fucked with his plans.
Javier made me doubt myself. Now I’m letting him win by questioningeverything.
He played us, Luce. Please call me back.
You know I’d NEVER lie to you.
Please. Let’s talk about this.
Seriously, Luciano? You’re my lawyer. You can’t ignore me.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think you’d have such little faith in me. We’ve known each other over a decade and even with all that time between us, you honestly think I’m capable of manipulating you? I love you, Luciano. I would never lie to someone I love.
Maybe you and I have different definitions of love.
CHAPTER THIRTY
I’m so fucking mad at Luciano, I can hardly breathe.
I miss him, but I absolutely fucking hate him right now, too.
It’s been five days since Javier showed up on my roof, crashing the date Luciano had planned for us, and I still haven’t heard from him.
Him being Luciano, not Javier. I hope to never hear from that man again.
If I thought my heart hurt the moment Luciano walked away, I had no idea what I was in for over the next few days. The only reason I know he’s still breathing is because I’ve been asking Vinnie for updates, even though I’m trying my best to not drive her crazy, or worse—put her in the middle of this like she feared she’d be if something happened between us.
It’s really quite frustrating that, even as my lawyer, Luciano won’t return my calls. I haven’t bothered reaching out to his office directly, though, despite having no idea what my status is with the court system now, knowing the legality of this marriage is a complete sham.
But as heartbroken as I feel, I haven’t spent this time crying. No one has time for tears, not when the best revenge in lifeis bettering yourself. Not that I’m actively seeking revenge on anyone, so long as I never see Javier’s face again.
He may have temporarily ruined what Luce and I have going, but I’m choosing to believe itistemporary. It doesn’t feel like our story is over. It feels like it’s just beginning, and this is one of those roadblocks some couples are unlucky enough to deal with.
But Luciano is a stubborn man, and him saying he needs time makes me nervous he’ll never hear me out. I’m scared he’ll draw his own conclusions about whether I knew or not. The only thing I’m holding onto is hope. I know how strongly Luciano loves when he gives it. I’ve seen it in the way he loves his family.
And I know he loves me. You can’t fall out of love in one second flat, and as angry as he is, I don’t doubt that his feelings are still there. It’s just a matter ofwhenhe’s willing to speak to me again.
But here’s the thing. A relationship is a two-way street.
I love him. I’vealwaysloved him. But no man is worth losing yourself over, and I’m not a woman who will sit here and beg for him to love me. On the contrary, as each day passes without him returning my calls or texts, the angrier I become.
He’s sent me one message.
One.
And all it did was make my blood boil.
