Nevertheless, I lifted my chin and smiled, not like I was anticipating him to say something terrible to me, but just open to whatever happened.
On the music’s downbeat, Konstantin stepped forward, and I did my best to waltz.
He looked up at the white ceiling crisscrossed with gold lines of trim moulding and studded with gilt chandeliers, thinking.
I didn’t interrupt his thinking. If he didn’t say anything in the few minutes remaining of this particular dance, that was fine, too. The sentiment was enough as far as I was concerned.
Minutes passed. Back-side-together, forward-side-together, and again, and again.
“Hey, look, Konstantin. It’s fine. We don’t need to talk.”
“Call me Kostya.”
“I don’t know, man. That seems kind of like we’re buddies or something,” I whispered.
“You’re Nicolai’s wife. You’re family now. Family calls me Kostya.”
It felt like I was forcing a familial relationship on him. “Okay—Kostya.”
Konstantin sucked in a deep breath and said, “I was very far out of line yesterday morning. I apologize for everything I said and the way that I said it. It was uncalled for. I have an explanation. People are constantly trying to weasel their way into Nicolai’s and my lives to take advantage of our backgrounds or financial resources. Nicolai has lectured me all my life on how I must constantly be aware of everyone’s ulterior motives, and I must never trust someone who pretends they care about me.”
Oh, the poor babies. That was no way to live. Maybe being poor and destitute was better. At least I knew that if people were nice to me, it wasn’t because they wanted something from me.
“It’s always a trick. It’s always a trap,” he continued. “We really can only trust people we met at boarding school because they have their own resources and because we’ve known them long enough to know who they really are. Even at college, at Harvard, I have to be careful about whom I associate with becausesomeonewill try to use me. No,everyonewill try to use me. It’s only a matter of what I will allow them to get and what I will receive in return. Everything is a transaction.”
“Oh, Kostya. I can see why you would want to protect him.”
“And Nicolai is so cautious. He never gets suckered. I’ve only been out of Le Rosey for two and a half years, and he’s had to rescue me twice. I’m such a sucker that I would believe people were my friends, then find out what they wanted from me and wouldn’t be able to extricate myself. Nicolai had to step in and tell me I could not tap my trust fund to invest in a crypto pump-and-dump scheme. He had to drag me out of an apartment with three other guys just last year, move all my funds so my so-called friends couldn’t access them to buy drugs anymore, and pack me off to rehab.”
“Yikes.”The poor kid.
And the really dumb kid. You’d think his expensive boarding school would have warned him about people like that.
“It seemed impossible that Nicolai, my older brother, the white knight who rides to my rescue, could be taken in as stupidly as I have been, and yet it seemed likeyouhad all the hallmarks. You were new, unknown, no connections, and living on Nicolai’s dime.”
Not a particularly charitable description, but it might have looked like that from the outside. I tried to remember that this was an apology, or was going to be at some point.
“I should’ve trusted him to know better,” Konstantin said. “I should have trusted him to be a better judge of character, and I’m sorry that I suspected you of being like the people who took advantage of me.”
Okay, there was the apology. I could overlook the previous part.
Kostya seemed so much younger than Nicolai or even me. He looked like a poor, lost little soul, probably a beacon for unscrupulous people. “I’m so sorry all that happened to you. They shouldn’t have done that. I’m just glad Nicolai was there for you.”
“I felt like I must rescue him as he rescued me, but my methods sucked. I got mad instead of being logical or doing something practical. The thing is thatIcan’t controlhismoney. He can control mine and keep me from blowing myself up, but I don’t have any leverage over him. All I had was panic that turned into anger, and I said everything in the worst possible way.”
Okay, then I got it, the poor kid.
My heart was breaking for him, and I didn’t know what to say to let him know that he could stop now because I didn’t want to burst into tears in the middle of this ballroom. “That’s okay, Kostya. Apology accepted. I forgive you. We’re cool. I’m glad that we both want the best for Nicolai, and we’ll both protect him.”
“I’m glad. We should put on a familial show of force over the next few days. I should squire you around a bit. Be seen, soto speak. This bachelor week of John’s is probably an excellent opportunity for others to see us closing ranks.”
“Oh, that’s a nice idea, but we’re not going to be here after tonight. I’m not sure when we’ll be back. Nicolai has this plan to fly us to Verona, Italy, tonight and stay for a few days. We met at one of the museums there,” I reminded him of the official story. “At Juliet’s House, like in the play. He said we’ll be back for the last day or so of John’s party, but I’m not sure how much longer we’re going to be at this week-long bachelor bash.”
Kostya’s eyebrows rose, and his smile was a little pinched. “We’ll do the best we can, then. Whenever you’re back, we’ll schmooze so everyone can see how well you're integrated into the family. And by family, I mean me, because Nicolai and I are the only family we have left.”
“I’m so glad we’re on the same page. It was really upsetting to come between the two of you because Nicolai mentioned that you’re his only family. Don’t you two have an uncle, though?”
“Michel. We don’t count him.”
