“Are you okay?” she asks.
I nod, even though it’s a lie.
Her gaze skims over me, taking in everything I’m trying to hide from the tremor in my hands to the sheen of sweat on my forehead. Without comment, she rinses the cloth and wipes the corner of my mouth before folding and pressing it into my palm.
“Was it any worse today?”
I shrug. “Nah. About the same.”
She lowers herself beside me, her back against the cabinet. This isn’t the first time we’ve sat like this. It’s funny. I never thought my brother would settle down. But he fell hard for the Railers’ PR manager. And I can see why. Rina has a way of making me feel less alone in all of this. Her presence has been an unexpected lifeline. One I’m grateful for.
“I should’ve checked on you earlier,” she murmurs.
“It’s not your job to babysit me,” I mutter, swiping my mouth with the back of my hand. My knees ache against the tile. “I’m fine. Really.”
She lifts a brow. “You just threw up like your body’s trying to eject your soul. I’m going to go out on a limb and say you’re not exactly fine.”
A weak laugh slips out.
God, I’m so exhausted.
Exhausted from pretending I can carry all this alone.
And I’m scared.
No. What I am is terrified.
Maybe Collin is right, and I should’ve ended the pregnancy, but the thought never lasted long. How could I do that? How could I choose to get rid of the tiny life already growing inside me?
It doesn’t matter how hard this is going to be or how alone I might feel while facing it. When it comes down to it, there was never a choice to be made. I’m having this baby whether he agrees or not.
The second I saw those two pink lines, a fundamental part of me shifted.
It became protective and stubborn. More than that, this baby became mine.
Rina tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “The doctor’s office called. They had a cancellation, so I booked the appointment.”
My stomach flips, although it has nothing to do with nausea and everything to do with nerves. “Thank you.”
“If you want, we can go together. There’s no reason for you to do this alone.”
“I appreciate that,” I say, forcing out the response. “But I can take care of it myself.”
Rina studies me for a beat, as if she can hear everything I’m not saying.
“We’ll talk about it later. Just know I’m here for you. And when you’re ready to tell your family, they’ll be there too. You’ll see.”
The thought of my mom and brothers finding out sends icy-cold tendrils of fear straight down my spine. “Thanks, but…” My voice dips. “I need to figure out a few things first.”
Like my entire life.
Instead of arguing, Rina rises to her feet and offers me her hand. I take it because my legs are a little unsteady and I’m lightheaded.
“Come on,” she says. “You should lie down for a little bit.”
Once in the bedroom, I lower myself to the edge of the mattress. My stomach is still churning.
Rina lingers near the doorway. “Oh, before I forget.” She reaches into a fancy black shopping bag next to the dresser. “I picked something up for you.”
