My stomach flips.
God help me, the way he smells is more like a drug.
The realization hits hard as a wave of nausea rolls through me. I squeeze my eyes shut, pressing my palm against my stomach and slowly drawing air into my lungs until it passes.
Mostly.
This is the trickiest part of the day because mornings can be unpredictable. Some days are fine, while others feel like my body is dead set on reminding me that no matter how hard I try to pretend otherwise, something monumental is happening beneath the surface.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed and sit for a moment, attempting to steady the roiling within me.
You can do this. Act normal. Just get through the day.
One step at a time.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand, and I freeze, a split-second of fear that it’s Collin, determined to dog my every step. Instead of ignoring it, I straighten my shoulders and reach for the device, blinking against the sudden light as my brother’s name flashes across the screen.
I’d texted last night, explaining the nanny position had become more permanent.
Ollie:
Are you sure this is what you want? Just know that if it doesn’t work out, you can move back here. My door’s always open.
Emotion rises swiftly within me. My brothers have always been like that. Loud. Protective. Steady. Even when I’ve screwed up, they’ve never made me feel like I didn’t belong.
It takes a moment for me to type back, as I choose my words carefully.
Me:
I’m okay. For now, the arrangement works. It gives me time to figure things out. Love you.
Ollie:
Love you too, kid.
With a smile, I set the phone down as the warmth of our exchange lingers before heading to the bathroom for a quick shower. Once done, I pull on my jeans and sweater from yesterday, folding Laiken’s T-shirt neatly on the bed.
I hesitate, eyeing the cotton.
Don’t do it. Do not, under any circumstances, smell his shirt. It’s weird and?—
Damn.
Unable to resist, I lift the material again and breathe it in one final time.
I seriously can’t believe I just did that. This is ridiculous. I force myself to set it down and head toward the kitchen, determined to get a jumpstart on the day.
Elody’s boisterous voice greets me first.
“Kia!”
She barrels straight into my legs, wrapping her arms around me with all the enthusiasm of a puppy.
“Good morning to you too,” I say on a laugh, brushing my fingers through her curls.
“You stayed over!”
“I did.”
