I force myself to meet his gaze, and find concern etched across his expression. His hand lifts, carefully wiping the tears from my cheeks. The gentleness of his touch only makes the emotion in my throat swell even more.
“You’re sure it’s not a bug you caught?” he asks again, quieter this time. “Maybe food poisoning?”
“No, it’s not.”
The secret I’ve been carrying sits perched on the tip of my tongue, begging to be set free. One word and everything would change.
Another tear slips free despite my best efforts to keep it contained. Laiken catches it with his thumb. He hesitates for a second, maybe two, as if giving me space to pull away. When I don’t, he draws me against the solid strength of his chest.
His arms slip around me, holding me like I’m something fragile he’s afraid to break but just as scared to let go of. His warm breath ghosts across the top of my head. The solid weight of him wraps around me, and it takes everything I have not to sink deeper into the comfort he’s offering.
I didn’t realize how much I needed this.
Maybe I haven’t known this man for long, but for some reason, he makes me feel safe.
Safer than I’ve felt in months.
Maybe even years.
The realization is enough to give me pause.
In a way, it feels like he could shield me from Collin, the pregnancy, and the constant low-grade fear that vibrates beneath my skin, just by standing here with his arms around me. As if the world wouldn’t be able to touch me as long as I’m with him.
Even though Laiken doesn’t ask any more questions, I’m almost certain he’s figured out my secret. The silence between us isn’t confusion or denial.
It’s restraint.
And that terrifies me more than anything.
What happens next?
Will he tell my brother?
Or fire me?
And my biggest fear of all—will he still want me around his daughter?
The thought makes my stomach twist. Elody is his entire world. I’ve seen the way his expression softens when she bounces into a room. The idea that I could threaten or taint it makes me want to vomit all over again.
Maybe he’ll think I’m a bad influence. I can’t deny that I’ve made a mess out of my life.
Who’d want that around their daughter?
Who’d trust someone like me with something so precious?
More than that, I don’t want him to look at me any differently.
I don’t think I could handle that.
All this circles through my head as I take a step back and slip free of his arms. My body resists the distance even as my mind insists on it. “I… I need to brush my teeth.”
The words feel feeble. Like they’re nothing more than an excuse to run away.
When his lips part, I wince, knowing he’s going to ask the one question I’ve been too scared to talk about.
For a second time, the truth presses against my tongue and I almost blurt it out. But my nerve falters, and I rush out of the confining space, turning my face away so he won’t see the tears spilling down my cheeks. Once in my bedroom, I lock myself in the bathroom. Only then does it feel like I can finally breathe again.
I lean over the sink, gripping the edges until my knuckles blanch, before brushing my teeth on autopilot. Even though I try to steady the tremor in my hands, it doesn’t work. Tears drip onto the porcelain, and no matter how hard I blink, I can’t make them stop. I need to pull myself together.
