My muddled brain took a few critical seconds trying to work out how to get her bra off, but she wouldn’t wait, pushing down her undies and shimmying out of them before tugging me close around my waist.
All rational thought left my head at the feeling of her skin warm against mine. I wanted closer, tighter pressure and friction and the way she dropped her head back against the door when I pressed her into it spurred me on. Either she curled a thigh around me or I yanked it up – I wasn’t sure – but then my cock slipped up between her legs and I choked on a gasp.
She was hot and soft and wetter than my filthiest imaginings, squirming against me. I wanted to stay here forever, but the heat in my spine, the electricity in my veins would be too much – sooner rather than later, I feared, given how worked up we were.
‘I should get a condom,’ I ground out. I hoped I still had a few in the pocket of my toiletry bag. I didn’t need them as often as everyone thought. I struggled to dislodge her arms, which brought a smile to my lips, remembering the way I’d wound her up during the interview about not always doing what she should.
‘You don’t need it,’ she murmured, her voice thick. ‘I’m on birth control.’
We both knew I got tested for everything all the time, but I paused. I hadn’t had sex without a condom in a long time.
‘It’s fine,’ she said, a waver in her voice. ‘Or just use a condom. That’s a better idea.’ A cloud crept over her eyes and her throat bobbed.
‘What is it?’
‘Nothing.’ She moved her arms in a way that suggested she wanted to cross them over her sweet little lace bra-thing.
‘Hey,’ I began, lifting a hand to her hair.
‘Look, it’s totally fine. I haven’t… done this since my last medical in the team, so do whatever you want.’
‘Your last medical?’ I repeated before I’d thought it through. ‘What’s that, like, a year ago? More?’
She straightened, her tight expression so familiar to me. It should have been strange that she was delivering one of her disapproving frowns right now, but I’d spent a lot of time thinking about her over the years and her beautiful, private skin was only the final piece of a puzzle I knew well.
‘I didn’t think you’d want my full sexual history,’ she grumbled. ‘Maybe I should— This is—’ She squeezed her eyes shut. ‘Damn it, Colin. For a second, I actually thought I could do this.’
Leesa
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Now that my brain had come back online, I wasn’t sure how I had got this far: mostly naked with Colin Gallagher. My bralette was ludicrously difficult to take off, a fact I was almost thankful for now, and he was still wearing his socks, which somehow made things worse.
God, I knew how awkward I was in these situations. To try this withhim! It might have been the most undignified moment of my life – and that was even before I started blabbering an explanation.
‘I just… I struggle with this. There are so many variables. You can’t know… what I like. And then if I don’t like…’ I swiped my underwear off the floor, heat rushing up my chest. The residual throb of arousal between my legs was uncomfortable as I slipped into them. I couldn’t help thinking about how his cock had pressed up along the sensitive centre.
I couldn’t bear to look at him, to confirm the strange ache of disappointment at how this had ended – this interlude and also the unexpected friendship we’d struck up. I didn’t like how stricken I was at the thought of losing that easy banter that had got us to this point.
Shit.
‘Leesa, I don’t care if it’s been a decade since you last had sex, although it’s good to know.’
‘It hasn’t been a decade,’ I bit out. ‘And I realise you don’t care, but I do – I mean, I’m careful about being comfortable with my partner. I just… this is complex and I—’ I gave up. I didn’t want to have to defend myself. ‘You don’t want this.’
‘I don’t think you really know what I want,’ came his reply after a long pause.
I looked up at him without thinking. Bad idea. He was watching me intently with half a crooked smile, as though nothing I’d said fazed him.
‘What… do you want?’
His smile grew rueful and, if I hadn’t been deep in the torture of my own awkwardness, that expression would have dug right under my skin. ‘You,’ he answered immediately, a catch in his voice. ‘Just you, Leesa Kubicka.’
Those were some of the only words that were capable of cutting through my haze. ‘What?’
‘Why do you think I came to watch your last race in September? I’ve thought about thisa lot.’
I groped for the headboard and sat down. Colin sat carefully next to me, not close enough to touch, but close enough that I felt…together.
‘I’m sorry—’
