“You figured I wouldn’t actually agree to meet you today, so you brought coffee to me?” Sam finished for her, taking the proffered cup.
Alex smiled and looked down at her feet, a slight bashfulness on her face. “Yes, exactly.”
Now it was Sam’s turn to stare, and she took the time to study the other woman just as openly. Alex had always been one of those effortlessly gorgeous girls with her girl-next-door looks. She had flown under the radar in high school until she and Sam had become close. But even after that, she spent most of her time indifferent to the effect she could have on others. Several of Sam’s friends had hounded Sam, trying to get Alex’s number, but Alex had been oblivious to the attention.
If high school Alex had been stunning, adult Alex was something else entirely. The morning sun lit her hair from behind, falling across her face in a wave of gold. Sam felt her hand itch at her side, ingrained with the habit of brushing it back. She stopped herself once she realized what she was doing. Instead, she busiedher hands by taking a giant drink of her coffee. She winced as the hot coffee burned a trail down her throat.
“I brought you your favorite.” Alex held out the box. “At least, it used to be your favorite. I’m not sure anymore.” Her forehead creased with uncertainty.
Sam glanced at the box, her eyes growing wide. “Are those raspberry white chocolate scones from Sally’s?”
“Of course!” Alex smiled. “And one of the world’s largest cinnamon rolls!”
Sam studied her for a moment, taking Alex in. She thought back to the conversation with Jordan from the night before. Maybe she should give Alex a chance. “Well, how can I say no to that?”
“That was kind of the point.” Alex beamed. Sam smiled back and shook her head. She held the door open again, and Alex brushed past her to enter. Sam was taken aback for a moment, floored by the scent that was so uniquely Alex’s. Memories of the first time she had gotten close enough to Alex to catch the lingering smell of her body lotion triggered a heat low in her body. That night had changed everything. She tried to clear her head. Was she in trouble? Yeah, maybe she was in trouble.
“I know it’s early,” Alex called over her shoulder, interrupting Sam’s thoughts and her attempt to collect herself. “Sam the Sloth needs her sleep, right?”
Sam chuckled at the old nickname and closed the door behind her. “I am perfectly capable of waking up at a decent hour.” She followed Alex down the hall and met her in the kitchen. “I just don’t see the point.”
Alex looked up from cutting the largest cinnamon roll Sam had ever seen in half. She raised an eyebrow, a trick Sam remembered from years ago. “I did wake you, right? You were still sleeping just now.” It wasn’t a question.
Sam blushed under the scrutiny. “Yes,” she mumbled. “But I was just about to get up.”
“I’m sure you were.” Alex’s voice held a teasing tone. She put each half of the cinnamon roll onto a plate. She reached into the bag and grabbed a scone, placing it on the cutting board to cut it in half.
“Oh, no, you don’t!” Sam reached out and swiped the scone from the counter. When Alex looked at her, mouth agape, Sam stuffed one end of the scone in her mouth and took a giant bite. She grinned around a mouthful of crumbs. “This one is all mine.”
Alex smiled, shaking her head. “You haven’t changed a bit.” She reached into the bag and pulled out a second scone. “Luckily, I know your wicked ways and came prepared.” She added the second scone to her plate and pushed the plate with the cinnamon roll half across the counter to Sam. Then she came around the kitchen island and sat on the stool next to her.
She was so close that all Sam could focus on was that subtle scent and the heat coming off her body. What was wrong with her? Did she have too many beers last night? When had she become so aware of Alex? Sam reached for her coffee and distracted herself by trying a sip. It had cream and maple syrup, just like she liked it. While she was touched that Alex remembered how she took her coffee, she thought about what Alex had just said about her not changing. Sam felt like she had done nothing but change since she last saw her. She was surprised to find that she wanted to go deeper.
“But you have?” Sam struggled to keep her tone even though she knew the question was loaded.
“Have what?” Alex paused with her fork halfway to her mouth. “Changed?” she asked, her voice cautious. She tilted her head to the side, and her forehead scrunched in a way Sam had always found inexplicably adorable. After a moment, Alex shook her head and placed the fork, with an oozing bite of cinnamon roll, back onto her plate. She took a sip of her coffee and then gently set it back down.
Finally, she shrugged and looked over at Sam. “Don’t we all?” Her tone was measured and careful. “I would like to think that our experiences shape us and that we’re growing every day.”
Sam recognized a canned response when she heard one, but then she thought about the time that had passed, the people she had met, the places she had been. People might be the same at their core, but could she truthfully say she was the same as the twenty-year-old woman she had been the last time she had seen Alex? No, she had definitely changed. There might have been things she still clung to,bits of herself that carried over from the past, but she could not deny that she was different. “Fair enough,” Sam finally conceded.
She took another bite of the scone.God, these things are delicious. Boston had its fair share of bakeries, but Sally’s was legendary. It didn’t hurt that Sally and her mother had been very close friends. In many ways, Sally’s was just as much a part of home as anything else. Maybe that’s why Sam hadn’t been able to bring herself to stop into the tiny shop in the weeks since she had been home. She couldn’t face seeing Sally alive and thriving while her mother was gone.
Alex returned to her bite of the cinnamon roll. The two munched in sugar-blissed silence for several minutes. But to Sam, the silence didn’t feel as companionable now. The air between them felt loaded and tense. Alex had something on her mind. Sam just wasn’t sure what. She tried to gather her thoughts while she finished her breakfast, but so many things were swirling in her mind that she was having trouble focusing. Before she realized it, the entire scone and her half of the cinnamon roll were gone.
As Sam finished, Alex placed her fork down on her own plate, which still held most of her half of the cinnamon roll. Sam had been so focused on scarfing her food down that she hadn’t even realized that Alex barely touched hers. Alex gathered their dirty dishes and slid them over to the other side of the counter. After wiping aside a few stray crumbs, she swiveled on the stool until she faced Sam.
“I’m just going to cut to the chase,” Alex said, studying her openly. “Have you been avoiding me?”
Sam was mildly shocked and a bit taken aback by Alex’s boldness. In high school, Alex had been relatively non-confrontational. This was something else. Maybe shehadchanged. She took a moment to think about how to approach the question. Of course she was avoiding her, and now she had been called out on it. But was she ready to tell Alex why? She fiddled with the lid of the coffee cup and slowly raised it to take another sip. She looked around the kitchen, taking time to gather herself, then finally met Alex’s probing look.
“A bit, I guess.” She looked down at her hands when Alex’sscrutiny became too much. “I mean, I do have a lot to do with the house. And settling my mother’s affairs.” She felt a sudden wave of defensiveness that she couldn’t explain.
Alex, for her part, looked relieved. She took a deep breath and then swiveled back to her coffee. “I’m your friend, Sam. If you had asked, I would have helped you with any of that.”
Sam couldn’t help the sharp burst of feeling that rushed to the surface, and she let it get the best of her. Now it was her turn to face Alex full-on. “If we’re cutting to the chase, I guess I’ll have to be honest with you. I haven’t beenavoidingyou, Alex. I don’t have any reason to need to see you. And, in case you don’t remember, we haven’t beenfriendsfor years. We haven’t beenanythingin years.”
Outburst over, Sam pushed herself off the stool and walked to the other side of the counter, needing to put distance between them. She took the long way around to avoid passing behind Alex, whose physical presence was distracting to her. She didn’t need those feelings getting in the way right now. She was suddenly shaking with anger and couldn’t handle the proximity. She grabbed the dirty plates and began loading them into the dishwasher, turning her back to Alex in the process. When she was finished, she stood with her arms braced on the counter, looking out the window, her back still turned.
