She led Sam back toward the bar where she had been before. Brad and his friend were still standing there but moved to the side when the two women approached. Brad pulled the stool out for Alex and then turned to Sam. “Martin,” he said, punching her lightly onthe shoulder. “Good to see you again. We were sorry to hear about your mother.”
“Thanks, Brad.” Sam gave him a sad smile. “I appreciate that.”
“I lost my father a few years back. I know how hard it can be. I got through it by burying myself in work. My cousin Jasper and I rehab houses.” He pointed to the wiry young man standing next to him.
She reached out a hand to the younger man. “Hey Jasper, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Sam.”
Jasper smiled and shook it firmly. “Nice to meet you.” His eyes twinkled. “It’s not every day that I get to meet Hicksville royalty.”
Sam laughed and looked down at her feet. “I don’t know about all that, Jasper.”
“Don’t be modest, Sam,” Brad chimed in. “You were a rock star in high school…likely still are.”
Now it was Sam’s turn to punch him lightly on the shoulder. “Stop. You’ll make me blush.”
Brad laughed but reached out to squeeze Sam’s shoulder. “Seriously,” he added, intently meeting her eyes. “Let me know if you need help with the house or anything. I’m happy to help.”
Sam was surprised at his words, but she could still tell the offer was genuine. She reached out and squeezed his forearm. “Thanks, I’ll do that.”
He looked back and forth between Sam and Alex, a slight smile on his face. “You ladies enjoy your night.” He gave one last tilt of his beer bottle before he and Jasper strolled away.
Sam and Alex watched them retreat. “It never ceases to amaze me,” Alex murmured after a moment. She reached out and slid a bottle of beer over to Sam.
“What?” Sam asked, grabbing the bottle and turning to face her.
“How these people here will do anything for you, even after everything you put them through.”
Sam caught the allusion to the past and decided to press. “WhatIput them through? What about whatyouput them through?”
“Other than the obvious?” Alex’s tone was tight, her eyes on the bottle she was rolling around in her hands.
“What do you mean by that?” Sam was genuinely confused. When it came to Alex Weaver, nothing was ever obvious.
“Sam.” Alex looked down at the bottle in her hands. She began slowly peeling back the label, avoiding looking at Sam when she finally started speaking. “You, Sam. The obvious is you. What I did to you.”
Sam thought back to the night that everything changed.
Sam and Alex thought they were good at keeping secrets. And for several years, they were. Their relationship had started when they were in high school—Alex a sophomore and Sam a senior—and continued during Sam’s first two years of college. They were used to sneaking around to be together. But one night, Alex’s parents came home a little too early and caught them in a position that could have been perceived as compromising, but could also have been interpreted as innocent fun. Sam tried to lie and explain that it was a dare, a drinking game they had been playing, which would have been bad enough in Nadine Weaver’s sanctimonious eyes. But Alex stopped her with a very firm “Enough.” She then quietly informed her parents that she and Sam had been seeing each other, that they were in love and wanted to be together.
Unsurprisingly, Alex’s mother had flipped. She didn’t raise her voice, but her tone was deadly. It was clear that she blamed Sam for everything. She accused her of corrupting her daughter despite Alex’s protests to the contrary. She called her a sinner, and that was just one of the milder words she used. When she was finished, she calmly told Sam to leave—that she was no longer welcome in her home and should never return.
Nadine obviously talked about it with Father Michael, because the lecture the following Sunday was filled with allusions to homosexuality and the dangers of being spiritually lost to the world. The real blow was afterward, in the church hall, over stale lemon bars and watered-down coffee. Nadine had taken court with some ladies from the prayer circle, and Sam could hear her voice float over the room.
“We all need to pray for young people in our community who have lost their way. Especially those who are leading others awayfrom the Lord.” Nadine’s eyes met Sam’s over the crowd. “Why, I heard some of the college crowd right here in Hicksville have turned to alternative lifestyles. Right, Samantha?”
There was a murmur across the hall as the implication of Nadine’s words sank in. Faces turned to stare at Sam, who could only drop her lemon bar and hightail it out of there.
The news didn’t so much as explode as it seeped, oozing through Hicksville from person to person. By the following week, Sam couldn’t even go to the store without someone stopping her with “So…Sam, I heard…” Sam would cut them off with a wave of her hand and make a hasty retreat. Eventually, she just stopped going out. When she came home from school to visit her mom, she stuck close to the house. She needed to see her mom, but she couldn’t face the judgment and disappointment that she knew she would see in everyone else’s eyes. It had pained her to believe that her small town was so homophobic.
Sam looked at her, still lost in memory. “What do you mean?”
Alex continued to peel at her label until finally she looked up to meet Sam’s eyes. “You were this town’s golden girl. And I treated you like trash. You left,” Alex explained. “And everyone knew it was because of me.”
“Itwasbecause of you,” Sam pointed out. “Well, your mother, really. But at least you finally acknowledge it.” Sam shook her head in frustration. “But what are you talking about? No one here cared about me being gone.”
“Everyone did!” Alex’s tone was sharp. “But you didn’t stick around long enough to see it.” She shook her head sadly and became engrossed in her label again—a nervous habit she must have developed as an adult—years Sam hadn’t been able to live through with her. Sam watched her peel it off in long strips. After a moment, she glanced up and noticed Sam’s confused look. “Sam, don’t you know what you meant to this town? Everyone loved you so much that it was almost like a cliché emo teen movie.” She ruefully shook her head. “All the boys wanted to date you. All the girls wanted to be like you. You were everything—captain of three sports, valedictorian, student council, and all the other clubs. Youwere amazing. And this town revered you, even after you left for college.”
Sam was dumbstruck. All of this felt like news to her. “Then why didn’t anyone reach out after?” Sam finally shot back. “When I needed them most, no one was there.”
