“It’s hard to trust something you’ve never had before,” I reply, feeling emotionally naked.
“You can’t see air, but you know it’s there, right?”
I roll my eyes, but the corners of my mouth turn up into a smile. “Well, yes, but—”
“No, buts. You and me, what we have—it’s like breathing.”
His words have the power to steal the breath from my lungs. When I’m with him, when he’s like this with me, I feel things I’ve never experienced before, and suddenly, fairy tales don’t seem so far-fetched.
Then he’s kissing me again, and all my anxiety and self-doubt are lifted. I no longer want to fly. I want to soar. Olly is everything I’ve been missing in a friend, in a partner, in a significant other.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
OLLY
The closer I get to this charity event, the less time I have to spend with Rachel. Being without her is an ache I can’t explain. I know Molly comes first, and I’m pleased about that—Rachel is a damn good mother—but I’ve noticed how much shit she silently puts up with where Marcus is concerned. His lack of timekeeping, commitment. And I am pretty sure he has some deep-rooted issues of his own, too. I haven’t been able to forget the state he was in when he turned up for Molly’s party.
As soon as I leave the gym, I dial Rachel.
“Hello?” she answers on the first ring.
“Hi, you okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, fine.”
She doesn’t sound too convincing. “What are you up to?”
I hear shuffling around, and it takes a second for her to respond. “Nothing, why?”
“I thought I could bring us some take-away.”
I hear a door close. And the sound of her feet padding across the floor. “Um, I’m not feeling too great. Rain check?”
Disappointed, I agree and hang up.
Something in her voice didn’t sound right; she was hiding something. Before I can think better of it, I swing past the fish and chip shop and grab us a large portion of both.
When I get to her flat, one of her neighbours is just coming out and holds the door for me. “Thanks,” I say.
“No problem,” she says, a little in my personal space. I breathe in to keep from touching her body with mine, and then race up the stairs two at a time.
I only allow myself one breath before knocking on Rachel’s door.
There’s a large sigh right before she pulls open the door. “Olly?”
I hold up the bag. “I know you said you didn’t feel well, but you sounded off,” I say in the way of explanation.
And that’s when I hear another voice. “Who is it?” Marcus appears in the hallway, wearing only his boxers, his hair damp. My eyes travel to Rachel who is in her yoga pants and a baggy t-shirt, sans bra.
She wipes her palm over her face. “For fuck’s sake, Marcus, go put some clothes on,” she says, exasperated.
He comes up behind her, leans his chin on her shoulder. I am ready to rip into him, but Rachel elbows him hard, and he holds up his hands, feigning ignorance. “I mean it, Marcus.” He gives me a shit-eating grin before disappearing into the bathroom.
Her face falls, and I take her hand. “What’s going on?”
She shakes her head. Looking back over her shoulder, she pulls the door just shy of being closed and steps into the hallway.
“He turned up early hours this morning in an absolute state. I couldn’t turn him away,” she says. “Nothing happened, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
