My parents were emotional wrecks when they found out Lottie was expecting, saying how that could have been their grandbaby, how it should have been her and Max.
They don’t mean it in a cruel way, but I can hear what they don’t say—will Vi ever settle down and have a family?
They weren’t even phased when I ‘came out’. I just brought my first girlfriend home and introduced her as such, and that was the extent of the coming out. I’ve had two boyfriends, but they were both fleeting. My longest relationship was with Tanya, she was always really jealous of my friendship with Char, and for the most part, I let it go.
But damn if she didn’t know how to play on my insecurities. We split up, but she still manages to mess with my head, begging me to take her back. We’d hook up, and then she’d say it was a mistake. That finally stopped, but now she rocks up here where I work with her newest flavour of the month, trying to get a rise out of me.
The only time I felt like the tables were turned was one time when she turned up while Char and I were on a night out, and I ended up giving my best friend a hickey just to spite my ex. Granted, it wasn’t my most elaborate plan, and in that moment, it felt good, but it was the hollow feeling I was left with after I didn’t like. I was becoming as bad as her and her twisted games.
On the outside, I’m this overly confident person, but deep down, it couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t even know who I am anymore. When Max died, part of me died, too, and I don’t think I’ll ever get that back.
When I’m auditioning, I play a part, and I don’t have to worry about who I am or not. I can slip into a role and forget the world, if only for a little while.
So, yes, this is just a means to an end.
I still can’t believe Lottie and Ethan are having twins. I’d be lying if I said I wasn't a little put out that I have to organise the baby shower with Nathan. He can be annoying as hell, but I feel like he’s the only other person who feels the dynamics shifting and the changes as much as I do.
I quickly pull out my phone and google the hall. It will be the perfect venue, and I know Char will love it. I send an enquiry before going back to the crate in front of me. So fucking monotonous.
And then, like I always do when I’m alone and have the perfect acoustics of the empty bar, I start singing “On My Own”. To say I’m addicted to the movieLes Misérablesis an understatement. Plus, it gets me in the right head space. I have an audition tomorrow, and I’m freaking out. But thanks to Felicity, I finally have a decent and professional-looking headshot on my calling card.
I’ve pretty much sung the entire soundtrack to myself when my phone begins to vibrate on top of the bar. I grab it and see an email from the hall, no availability, but they do have one cancellation for six weeks away. Fuck it, it's too good to pass up, so I reply asking them to send an invoice.
I should probably let Nathan know before he gets his tighty-whities in a twist.
ChapterFour
NATHAN
My phone vibrates on the chest of drawers as I walk past, just about to jump in the shower after a workout. I glance down; it’s just a number, no name, and I can’t help but smile. It must be Violet. I was in such a hurry to get away from her that I didn’t bother checking her number.
Unknown: I managed to book a hall. I just thought you should know.
I can’t help but roll my eyes. Of course she fucking has, it's only been a couple of hours since we’d been tasked with it.
Me: Wow, thanks for allowing me to give my input!
I enter her name under my contacts and then laugh before changing it. The truth is, at least our banter makes me forget about my shit storm of a life.
In the last few months, I’ve found myself looking for a new place to live, betrayed by someone I fell in love with, and even now, I can’t let them go.
Tinker Bell: Sorry, I sent them an email, and they have no availability apart from a cancellation in six weeks. It’s a great hall too. It will make the mum-to-be very happy.
Oh hell, she’s good. I’ll give her that, going straight for the jugular using Lottie.
Me: Fine, but anything else, we make the decision together!
Tinker Bell: Of course. *angel emoji*
Why don’t I believe her? I laugh, dropping the phone on the bed, and pull off my clothes as I turn on the shower, watching the head jets come to life. I got to say this house-sitting gig is hardly a chore with a shower like this. My mate is away for a few months, and originally I agreed to stop by and check on the place, but when Meg moved in, and Henry got custody of Jacob, I knew I had to move out and give them space. Neither of them asked me to, and they probably wouldn’t, either, but after everything they’ve been through, I figured it was the least I could do.
Stepping under the hot jets, my body sags as the water cascades down my skin. My mind wanders back to earlier this morning. At first, I wanted to get in Violet’s space to piss her off, but then it was an invisible pull.
“Fuck, no.”
Grabbing myself at the base, I squeeze and will it to go away, but I swear I can still smell her. It's just a physical reaction, that's all.
I open my fist and move it up and down my shaft when the familiar ring tone interrupts me and instantly makes my dick go limp, fucking Naomi.
