“I can’t lose him O. I just can’t.” My voice catches on the last word, the thought alone unbearable.
I know there’s nothing she can really say to that, and I don’t expect her to either. But I think deep down I want to be told he will be okay, that it was a mistake, and our entire world wasn’t just tipped on its axis.
“You just have to be there for him Caleb, let him know he has you and Jessica to steer him through the hard days.”
I focus on a spot on the table. “I’m worried I won’t be enough, that I’ll let him and Jessica down when they both need me the most.”
She sighs and slides over until she’s at my side, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrap my arm around hers, pulling her closer.
“That’s not possible Caleb. You’re one of the best people I know. Do you think we’d be friends if you weren’t? I don’t trust easily, you know that, but you are one of the few people I do. You wouldn’t be in my inner sanctum otherwise.”
I take that as a compliment and kiss the top of her head.
“I know and I’m honoured, thank you.” But I’m also hit with a bout of guilt. “I’m sorry, I know I’ve not been a stellar example of a friend as of late.”
She scoffs at that. “Zip it, you. Life has been life-ing. I know how busy things have been with Jessica’s restaurant. I’m sorry I couldn’t come to the opening or the wedding.”
“We understand, O. You work hard.” And I’m not just talking about Formidable, she’s a CEO of another company, so she has her hands full.
She shrugs. “Why do you think I have this place, it’s my escape.”
“Maybe, but it doesn’t stop us worrying about you.”
Moving so she can stare up at me, she chews on her lip, and I wonder what’s on the tip of her tongue. But just as her lips part, a sharing platter of fancy food arrives.
Grabbing a fork, she stabs a breaded mushroom. Well, I’m guessing that’s what it is as she pops it into her mouth.
“Very demure,” I say, mirroring her action, but using my fingers with no shits given.
Fucking delicious. Yeah, Jessica would approve.
We eat and knock back our drinks. I don’t know how long we sit there getting shit-faced. But at the back of my mind, eating away at me, is the knowledge I should be at home with Noah and Jessica rather than hiding here like a fucking coward.
Chapter Forty-Five
NOAH
Once Caleb came down from the high of our fucking, he couldn’t get away fast enough. I knew he needed a minute, it’s why I let him go shower. What I didn’t expect was for him to walk out after and without a word.
I thought maybe he was going to clear his head while he went to pick up Jessica, but when she rang me worried when he wasn’t answering his phone I knew that’s not what happened.
So, I picked her up instead. I told her I’d explain everything when we got home.
And that was over three hours ago.
Caleb’s phone has been going straight to voicemail. Not that it matters, after Jessica went missing, we all agreed to wear trackers. Like mine, his is in his watch and the app currently shows him at Formidable.
If he was anyone else, I’d maybe have reason for concern, but this is Caleb. He’s loyal. I know that if he’s there, it’s not to seek comfort in others, because we trust each other implicitly.
No, he’s there because of that letter.
The one currently crinkled and staring at me from the table.
It was only written if the worst should happen. And I won’t apologise for it.
But it’s not just that, I know how hard this is for him, it’s eating him up inside.
The urge to go to him is strong. If it was just me, I probably would, but this isn’t just about me, it’s about Jessica too.
