Shame might have been his constant companion since leaving the island, but in that moment, he knew that if he wasn’t honest with her, the shame of deceiving her would haunt him for the rest of his life.
“I’m supposed to be a knight.”The words felt dry as bone in his mouth.Her brow furrowed, like she didn’t understand.“I’m an orphan, and I’ve been training most of my life for my Trial of Knighthood.Succeeding would’ve meant I had the favor of a god and earned an honored title.But… I failed.”
Ulla turned the book around.Bastion expected another question, but instead, he read an explanation, agitation punctuating the lines.
I don’t care about that!I expected to come up here and find you dead!
Embarrassed, goosebumps raced over his exposed body while heat reddened his face.He hadn’t expected her to react to his greatest shame with complete disregard, and it… hurt.
Ulla paced the length of the room, the hem of her dress flaring.The ornaments in her hair chimed when she reached the wall and spun around.
When she met his eyes, he asked, “Why would you think I was dead?”
She opened the book.Her hand trembled as she wrote.Her eyes glistened, and her mouth tightened.
The way I healed you on the ship–it was a terrible risk, but Taro was going to kill you!There wasn’t time.I came to correct the damage before it was too late, but you appear to be fine!
“I am fine,” he clipped.
Ulla’s expression hardened.She might not have been able to hear the tone of his voice, but she read all she needed to in his demeanor.
All her raw emotion disappeared, leaving only determination.
I need to examine you.Her fingers twitched at her side, like she couldn’t wait to get her hands on him.At any other time, the prospect of her touching him would have thrilled him.His skin blazed at the prospect.
“What?No!”Bastion exclaimed, backing away.“I just told you the worst thing about myself, and you brushed it aside like it was nothing!”
Ulla pursed her lips, took a deep, frustrated breath, and wrote more.Then, she pressed the book into his hands and went to the desk beneath the window.
It is nothing!Failure is inevitable.Try again or move on!
She returned, slamming a cushioned stool down in front of the fireplace.
Aghast, Bastion stared at her.Knowing that her regard for him seemed unaffected by whether or not he was a knight was equally elating and wounding.
“Ulla, I’ve been working towards my Trial my whole life.”He failed to keep a dejected note out of his voice.
She took the book, writing in it with an impatient sigh, then thrust it at him.Automatically, he accepted it, astounded that what felt like the end of the world to him could mean so little to her.
Why is this so important?Your Trial doesn’t change who you are!That you are a skilled warrior and a good person!
Bastion swallowed.How did he make her understand that those weren’t the things in question?That succeeding meant that when his lineage was discovered–
Ulla tapped the book, and he read the rest.
The longer you make me wait, the longer it takes me to see to the evacuees.
That got him moving, if reluctantly.He sank onto the stool.
She set the book on the mantle and let her hands drop onto his shoulders.Bastion sat up straighter, acutely aware of her touch as she ran featherlight fingers over his laterals and down his back.
She paused here and there, and her magic sank under his skin.It lacked the confident direction he remembered fromThe Basilisk, instead moving slowly between organs and muscles like water flowing across a dry riverbed.
Every time she lifted her palms and moved them, his skin sang.He felt far too hot for how little he was wearing.
To distract himself, Bastion closed his eyes and began mentally going through the most strenuous drill sequence he could think of.He silently counted beats and their corresponding movements, imagining he was doing it in the snow.At night.
One hand glided over his skin to rest on his shoulder, and Bastion’s eyes popped open.Ulla tapped her temple and shook her head.He understood immediately and swallowed.In trying to control one physical reaction, he’d created a different one entirely.
