“What happened?”
Nesrin’s eyes dropped to Rowan.He hunched on the bed, tears still freely flowing.
“Rowan,” she said quietly, “why don’t you run downstairs and tell Mistress Rose that Bastion is awake?”Bastion’s stomach growled.“And hungry.”
The boy started to shake his head.Bastion touched his shoulder.“I’ll be right here when you get back.I promise.”
He wanted nothing more than to vault out of bed and follow the pull in his chest, despite not knowing what he’d find at the other end.But for Rowan, he would wait a little longer.
Bastion’s stomach growled again, a long, gurgling rumble.Rowan gave it an accusatory glare before he climbed out of bed and slouched towards the door.He paused on the threshold, as if Bastion might disappear before his very eyes.Then, he was gone.
Nesrin turned back to him, and Bastion tensed.Dreamy fragments swirled in his mind like dandelion fluff, but he remembered one thing very clearly.
She knew.Everyone knew.
“Nesrin, let me expl–”
She shook her head, and he bit back the rest.“What kind of person would I be if I allowed one secret to shake our friendship?Especially,” she paused, “one that has no bearing on your character or your loyalties.”
“But I lied to you,” Bastion said.
“Did you?”Nesrin responded.“I don’t recall ever asking if you were part Yvri.”
Nesrin sank onto the bed, propping herself up on one elbow.There was a fierce energy about her, like a lioness sated.The normalcy of that assuaged his worries.She was herself, and his secret hadn’t changed her feelings towards him.
Then she asked a question that made every muscle in his body coil with anxiety.
“Does Endre know?”
Bastion sighed and shook his head.
“Good,” Nesrin said.“For once, I’m the first.”
She grinned, and a little bit of his tension unraveled.It was easier to think Endre would be upset over finding out after everyone else than to imagine his actual reaction to the revelation.
“Speaking of firsts,” Bastion said, “how was your first battle?”
“Bloody,” she responded, direct and concise as ever.She reached out and plucked at a stray thread curling up from the bedspread.Bastion waited, remembering how hard it had been to talk about the first time he’d killed a man.No amount of theory had prepared him, and he was fortunate that Hanniel had been there to comfort Bastion in his own gruff way.He hoped he wasn’t the first person Nesrin had talked to about it, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he was.
When she finally spoke, Bastion held his breath.“There was a man standing over me when I woke up.He was unbuckling his belt.”Her eyes met his for half a heartbeat before she went back to worrying the thread.“He hadn’t bothered to move my great sword.I didn’t even think.I just swung.I heard his bones break, saw the terror in his eyes.I killed him with his pants down.There wasn’t time to think after that.”
Bastion shuddered.Not just because of the near miss, but because every fight he’d been in felt like that.A rush of emotions and adrenaline that spun him higher and higher.Everything happened in a blur.
“It hit me that this was my home they were attacking.My people, caught in the crosshairs of whatever these men were after.We hadn’t done anything to invite this.”She sat up and leaned against the corner bedpost, rubbing her neck in a rare show of emotion.“Cutting them down, watching their eyes go dark… it was exhilarating to have that kind of power.To know I held their lives in my hands.”
“And after?”Bastion asked, his voice low.Because he knew what came next.
“Lawrence found me convulsing in a stairwell.”Nesrin gave a forced smile.“I felt shame for those earlier feelings, for reveling in their deaths.There’s no glory in taking so many lives.”
“We both know neither of us is in it for the glory,” Bastion said.
Nesrin nodded.The way she pinched the folds of her trousers matched the crinkle between her brows.
“Hey,” Bastion breathed.He put his hand on hers and squeezed.When she looked up, her eyes were glassy.“The path we’ve chosen isn’t easy, but there is no shame in defending your home.”
She nodded and turned her hand over to squeeze his.A little pang of sadness went through Bastion as her calluses brushed against his.Then, she withdrew, wiped her eyes, and said, “Don’t worry about me.I’m not the one who got impaled.”
A choked laugh forced its way out of Bastion’s chest.
