Chapter One
Trish
"Does this look say to you that I haven't had sex in two years?" I question my sister-in-law, Amy, as she sits on my bed. She's watching me as I fumble through every single piece of clothing I've ever owned. But when I ask the question, she spits out the water she just took a drink of.
"Two years? Trish..." Her eyebrows raise. She looks at me with her mouth hanging open in disbelief.
"Two years," I confirm, holding up two fingers. My lips popping with the last word. "It wasn't good with Derek, and toward the end, I couldn't stand the thought of him touching me."
She gets up from the bed, and starts looking through the clothes that are on the floor. "We've got to find you something that will at least get a hot make out session. I mean Mark is a good looking guy."
Good looking guy is a fucking understatement. He looks like he could be both on the cover and inside of a firefighter calendar. "Yes he is, and that's more intimidating than the fact that Mark is Gunner's friend."
"None of that should be intimidating," Amy argues, holding up a dress that I haven't worn in three years. "This is the one. It brings out your eyes, and will show off your amazing legs."
"It is intimidating," I fly over the compliment she just gave me. "For someone who lived in a relationship where we were less than roommates the last few years. Mark looks at me like I might be special, and I haven't had that in a very long time."
"You are special. So I don't want you to worry about Cora tonight, or getting home at a certain time. Gunner and I have her. She's going to have a great night with Rosa. I want you to have fun, and for once in your life, don't think about what's going to happen tomorrow. Live in the moment, and allow yourself to have a good time, okay?"
I understand what she's saying, and typically I would be worried about all of it. Will Cora want to stay with them? Will Mark not like me once we're alone? Will I be able to hold a damn conversation with an adult? "Okay, I will," I blow out a breath.
She raises her eyebrows at me. "Promise?"
"I promise." But at the same time, I'm not sure whether I'll be able to do what I want.
"Okay," she says, handing me the dress. "I'm going to take Cora with me tonight. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call."
"I won't call," I laugh.
"If you call, I'll know your date isn't going well, and it'll make me sad. Please, please, please, give yourself a chance to have a night for yourself. You deserve it, and you're allowed to have it."
I hear everything she's saying, but I'm already second-guessing all my plans for tonight. "I know." But my voice isn't filled with confidence.
"C'mon we're getting you dressed, and then I'm walking you out to your car, and we're leaving together."
Shit. She has my number more than anyone else ever has. She knows that if I'm left to my own devices, I will literally talk myself out of all this. "Alright," I answer, sighing. "Can you curl my hair?"
A grin spreads across her face. "I'd love to."
My stomach is in knots as I get closer to Mark's house. More than once I've wanted to turn around and head for the safety of my own, but I've been able to talk myself out of it. I keep trying to understand what the fuck a man like him wants to do with a divorced single mom like me.
I pull into the driveway and let my SUV idle.
"It would be so easy," I whisper. "Just go back across town, he won't even have to know you were here."
Only when I've basically convinced myself to turn around and go back home, the front door to Mark's opens. He steps out onto the front porch and waves at me. Which means he's going to know I was here and then chickened out. There will be questions, and I just don't have answers. So I turn off my SUV and get out slowly.
I have to give him credit, he doesn't rush from the porch, down to the driveway. He walks slowly, like he's approaching a skittish animal, and waits for me to make the decision on my own. When I get close enough, he holds out his hand, and I reach forward, slipping my palm into his.
"Thanks for not turning around and heading home." He grins, his blue eyes twinkling.
"I thought about it," I laugh.
"I know, I saw you. You were very undecided there for a few minutes. Thank you for staying, and giving me a chance."
"You're welcome. I'm still not completely comfortable, but that isn't about you. It's about me. I haven't done anything like this in about ten years, and it's hard for me. There were a lot of things that happened in my marriage, and at the time I didn't think it affected me, but I guess it did."
He reaches out and puts his free palm on my cheek. I can't help but turn into the touch. It's been so long since I've been touched like this. "It's normal for it to affect you. I mean this was a man you married, so obviously you loved him at one time. You had a child with him, and planned to build a life with him. It would affect anyone."
