Emily’s eyebrow arches in skepticism. “Research partners. Right. That’s why you’re still sitting in this waiting room looking like someone kicked your dog.” She glances down at Max, who whines softly. “No offense, buddy.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Isn’t it always?” Emily sighs, slumping back in her chair. “Look, I’m not saying you should put up with her pushing you away. That’s your call. But I am saying that if you walk away now, she’ll take it as confirmation of everything she already believes.”
“Which is?”
“That people leave. That she’s not worth sticking around for.” Emily’s voice softens. “That loving her is too much work.”
I feel like Emily has just reached into my chest and squeezed my heart directly. Loving? I haven’t even allowed myself to think that far ahead. Or maybe I’ve been actively avoiding it.
“I don’t—” I start, but can’t finish the sentence. Because what would I say? That I don’t love her? That would be a lie. That I do? I’m not ready to make that declaration, especially not to her sister.
Emily watches me struggle, her expression softening. “You don’t have to say anything. Your face already did.”
I clear my throat, looking down at Max, who has shifted to press his warm weight against my leg. “What do you suggest I do?”
“Go back in there,” she says simply. “Be the person who doesn’t leave when it gets hard.”
“I was trying to respect her wishes.”
“No, you were protecting yourself.” Emily’s directness reminds me so much of Lila that it’s almost painful. “Which I get. Self-preservation is a hell of a drug. But if you want any chance with my sister, you’re going to have to risk getting hurt again.”
Part of me wants to argue with Emily. To tell her she’s wrong about me protecting myself, that I was just being respectful of Lila’s boundaries. But the knot in my stomach tells me she’s right. I’ve been sitting in this waiting room not just out of concern, but because I’m afraid to face what comes next.
“I don’t know if I can fix this,” I admit quietly.
“No one’s asking you to fix anything. Just show up. That’s the part she doesn’t expect.”
I nod slowly, letting her words sink in. The idea terrifies me—walking back into that room knowing I might face another rejection. But the alternative—walking away without trying—feels worse.
“Okay,” I say, standing up. My legs protest after hours in the uncomfortable chair. “I’ll go back.”
Emily smiles, and for a moment, I see the family resemblance more clearly. “Good. I’ll wait here with your dog.”
Max whines as I stand up, clearly reluctant to be separated from me. I scratch behind his ears. “I’ll be back, buddy. Promise.”
The walk down the hospital corridor feels longer than it should. My heart pounds against my ribs with each step, my mind racing through possible scenarios.What will I say? What if she tells me to leave again?
I pause outside her door, taking a deep breath. Then I knock softly before pushing it open.
Lila’s lying on her side, staring out the window. For a moment, she doesn’t move, doesn’t acknowledge me. I wonderif she’s asleep, but then I see her shoulders tense slightly. She knows I’m here.
“I thought you’d be gone by now,” she says, not looking at me. Her voice is flat, drained of emotion.
“I was in the waiting room,” I admit.
This makes her turn. Her eyes are red-rimmed, her face pale except for the angry scratch across her forehead. The sight of her like this—wounded in ways that go beyond the physical—makes my chest ache.
“Why?” she asks, and the single word contains a universe of questions.
I step further into the room, letting the door close behind me. “Because I couldn’t leave.”
“I told you to go.” Her voice is careful, like she’s testing the floor for weak boards
“You did.” I stop at the foot of her bed, one hand resting on the metal rail.
“I was awful to you.”
