His fingers brushed lightly against Kaden’s sleeve.
“And I like that people keep trying. Even when everything is difficult or seems impossible. Even when they fail, they try again.”
Kaden smiled. Not always, but he knew what Joe meant.
“And I like you,” Joe said. “You don’t leave when things get complicated. You tell me the truth, even when it would be easier not to. I like how you see me as I am now, not what I was made to be. I like that you’ll argue with me. I like having fun with you. But if you weren’t here, I wouldn’t feel what I feel for this world. You are my favourite part of it.”
Kaden choked up.
Joe’s voice dropped almost to nothing. “I like the way you make ordinary things feel safe. And I like that when I don’t understand something, you don’t make me feel foolish. You just explain. Or you wait until I get it. I couldn’t have done this without you. I wouldn’t be what I am without you.”
Joe had tears in his eyes now. “This contradictory world is full of fragile, fleeting things and people keep choosing to care about them anyway. You call yourselves flawed. You build and destroy, heal and harm, create beauty and then forget to protect it. You argue over lines drawn in dust. You fear endings so much that you sometimes refuse to begin. But you alsohope. Even when logic doesn’t support it and history argues against it. Even when you have every reason to stop—you continue. You rebuild. You forgive. Not everyone everywhere, I know, but so many try. You reach for one another in the dark. Strangers do that. People care. Do you understand how rare that is?”
It touched Kaden deeply that Joe had seen all this.
“I really wish my race could have seen what I’ve seen and known this world should be left alone. To have seen a world they could have learned from. Loud. Chaotic. Contradictory. And extraordinary. If I had to go back, I’d say, Don’t touch this world. Don’t tame it. Don’t take from it. Don’t reduce it to something efficient and predictable and boring. Because in its imperfection, it has achieved something we never could.
“This world has learned how to love without certainty. And now, so have I. From the moment I chose death over harm, my life was yours. The happiest ending I could ever have imagined.”
Kaden kissed him. Nothing could have stopped him.
“Tickets, please.”
Except that.
He pulled back from Joe and they both laughed.
Epilogue
Eighteen months later
Life was great. Alistair had come through with his bag of carrots and Joe’s acceptance as an asylum seeker had been fast-tracked. Instead of being given refugee status, he’d been granted indefinite leave to remain, which meant there’d be no five-year wait before the decision would be taken to allow him to stay or to send him home.Home, right.That would have made Kaden smile except that Afghanistan would have been Joe’s destination. He and Joe would have found somewhere else to live together.
Eli Blake had been sent to prison. He’d admitted everything and there’d been no trial. Kaden was glad about that. He didn’t know whether Blake had been aware of the role he and Joe had played in his downfall. Alistair had not asked them to do anything else, which was a relief.
Kaden had received a letter from Harris, sent to his father’s address. It was an apology for his behaviour. Apparently, he’d been having therapy. Kaden hoped he really had changed.
Now Joe was safe. He had a British passport. A driving licence. One attempt by Kaden to teach him had so freaked him out, he’d booked lessons for Joe instead. Joe had a national insurance number. A year ago, he’d applied to do an MSc in environmental science at King’s College in London, and though Kaden had worried that with no qualifications, he might not be accepted, Joe had waltzed through the tests and the interview. He turned out to be brilliant.What a surprise.
He didn’t yet know which job offer Joe would accept. He’d been headhunted by several consultancy firms even before he’d handed in his dissertation, which had a heading Kaden didn’t even try to understand. Kaden had mostly carried on with the life he’d had before Joe, a bit of stand-up, freelance journalism,ghostwriting for others, including Alistair, and writing thrillers and fantasy for himself. The latter was turning into the most lucrative work of all.
Though nothing compared to what Joe won gambling. They had enough to buy a house outright now, but where was the question. It depended on which job Joe went for. Kaden still liked living in London but the idea of escaping the traffic and congestion appealed. They’d still keep their friends who were now Joe’s friends as well. Not Ben though. He’d drifted away.
Kaden and Alistair had cowritten two thrillers that had sold well, and he and Joe still saw him and Elsie occasionally, but Kaden had never felt quite the same about Alistair after what they’d been persuaded to do. Though he was grateful Joe had the right to remain. Alistair still occasionally pressed them about Joe’s origins, but they’d never tell. Alistair had settled on the belief that Joe was the son of someone important and his records had been hidden by his country of origin to keep him safe.
Kaden checked the time. Almost two. It was a Saturday afternoon, and he was currently waiting to take his seat in a large London bookshop to do a reading from his latest book, the fifth in the fantasy series, and to sign copies. He’d been alarmed when he’d seen how many boxes of books there were to sell.
Kaden’s agent, Hugh Winn, burst into the room. “They’re queueing out of the shop. I told you!”
Kaden had done three signings and imposter syndrome still made him worry no one would show up. Having a TV series based on his first fantasy novel, which had just started to show on Netflix, should have eased that fear, but it hadn’t.
“You ready?” Hugh asked.
“Yes.”
Kaden didn’t look at the audience when he went into the part of the bookshop that had been cordoned off, but when he turned and saw how many people there were, he gave an audible gulp.Then he saw his dad and Joe sitting there, both of them beaming at him, and Kaden relaxed. His dad loved Joe and that made Kaden so happy.
“Good morning,” Kaden said. “Thank you so much for coming. I hope I’m not going to bore you. Feel free to heckle if I do. I have bouncers strategically positioned. They’ve promised to be gentle with me.”
