“Unlikely. Remember, handshakes are primary vectors for transmitting infection.”
As if he could forget with Harris constantly reminding him.Kaden waited to be told that shaking hands transferred more viruses and bacteria than kissing, and twice as many as a high-five.
“Shaking hands can transfer more bacteria than a kiss.”
And there we go.
“And twice as many as a high-five.”
“You’d think a high-five would kill germs.” Kaden thought that was funny.
Harris didn’t. His groan was very heavy.
“What if I need the loo?” Kaden asked. “Not touching anything might be tricky.”
“For fuck’s sake! Just make sure you wash your hands.”
“Gosh, yes, thanks. I might have forgotten.”
Kaden had hoped to make him laugh, but Harris’ sense of humour was like sighting a rare bird. He didn’t laugh often, though when he did it was a beautiful thing. Even so, Kaden was tired of always trying to please him, tired of constantly stepping on eggshells when he was with him. Maybe it was the beginning of the end.
That he was even thinking that told him a lot. If he was being honest with himself, this relationship had been going downhill for quite some time. If he was beingreallyhonest, it had never done anything other than go downhill after the first date. Kaden had been flattered and said yes when he should have said no.
“I’m doing you a favour,” Harris said. “It wasn’t easy for me to get permission to bring you in.”
Kaden had thought he was doing Harris the favour, writing an article onA Day in the Life of a Biochemist.Lixian Biotech, where Harris worked, had come to the attention of an extremist animal rights group, who were demanding that all experimentation on animals ceased at once or else. Harris had sworn there were no animals at Lixian. Kaden believed him. Harris liked animals. Well, he liked dogs. Every time they met a dog when they were out walking, Harris stopped to have a word with the dog and the owner. Then used copious amounts of the hand sanitiser he always carried with him and insisted Kaden used it too, even if he’d not touched the dog.
It was Kaden who’d come up with the idea of writing the article. Harris had been all for it, possibly because Kaden hadalready written several in the series for a national newspaper, with well-known subjects. Harris had an inflated idea of his own importance.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” Harris said.
Kaden barely managed not to roll his eyes. The instructions on what to do and what not to do had been constant since Harris had told him he was going to take him in.
“I don’t have to do this if you’ve changed your mind.”
“My boss said I’d come up with a good idea, so you’re doing it. Just don’t fuck it up.”
It had been Kaden’s idea but Harris had passed it off as his own once he knew his boss was on board.
Harris spent the rest of the journey punching holes in Kaden’s enthusiasm by reminding him not to let him down, not to make jokes—because you’re not funny, not to speak unless he was spoken to, not to ask stupid questions, not to ask too many questions, not to offer his opinion on anything unless he was specifically asked and even then, think twice if not three times before he gave it. Then he repeated, “No jokes.” He might as well have added—Don’t breathe.
And Kaden’s stand-up audiencedidthink he was funny, but pointing that out to Harris had resulted in a blistering attack that made Kaden wish he’d kept his mouth shut. It was obvious Harris regretted arranging this, but the money was good and Kaden was curious to see what his boyfriend did. He’d thought it might be fun. Clearly not.
Kaden had been to Lixian Biotech before, but never gone inside the building. He’d just sat in Harris’ car and waited while Harris went in to get something.
“I mean it about the not touching,” Harris said.
For crying out loud.“What about lunch? Am I allowed to touch that? Or will you sit with me and feed me like a little bird?I wouldn’t mind, but people might think it’s a bit strange if you regurgitate food into my mouth.”
That earned him another heavy sigh.
“Don’t be idiotic. Just keep your hands to yourself. You have a habit of running your fingers over everything you pass. Bushes, railings, trees, walls…”
But not you.Harris didn’t do holding hands.
When Kaden was a little boy and his mum walked him to school, she kept baby wipes in her handbag so she could clean his hands before he went into the playground. She’d sayDon’t touch the railingsand he’d manage about ten steps before he started to do it again. He felt a pang of grief that she was no longer there to tell him off or wipe his hands or give him a kiss or laugh when he was funny. She’d kept a book of all the things he’d said that made her chuckle. His dad still had it.
The rest of the journey was spent in silence. Harris just wasn’t worth the effort. Kaden would end this, but not today.
