Why are you telling everyone about Jalis?
“Because if I don’t survive and you do, my dad will help you. You need to remember his address and phone number as well as mine.”
You sure he won’t jump to the conclusion that I was the one who injured you?
Shit.He hadn’t thought about that. “Just make sure you’re not around if the worst happens.”
I won’t let anything bad happen to you.
Kaden appreciated what Joe said but nothing could be guaranteed.
After an hour with his friends, Kaden was shocked he didn’t feel more drunk. He’d wanted to get drunk, to have that happy, floaty feeling as if everything was right with the world.
Euan put another rum and Coke in front of him. “You’re usually under the table after two of these, you lightweight. This is your fourth. What’s got into you?”
If only he could tell him. But that made him think.Are you stopping me getting drunk?
Yes.
Kaden’s shoulders slumped.
He’d told his friends about Jalis, just dropped it into the conversation when Danny had mentioned a game he’d bought for his PS5. His friends had accepted the idea of him giving Jalis somewhere to stay without much comment. But as gay guys, they knew just how bad life could be in countries likeAfghanistan. Not that they’d have done the same. They thought Kaden was a soft touch. Kaden liked to think that if Joe had really been coming from Afghanistan, then he’d have tried to help him.
Kaden had intended to go home but was persuaded to stay for the pub quiz. Which they won, thanks to Joe.
“You were on fire, tonight,” Ben slung his arm over Kaden’s shoulder.
“You were!” Euan said. “Since when have you been interested in volcanoes?”
“You should all have known the year Vesuvius erupted.”
“And that Tanzania’s Ol Doinyo Lengai volcano erupts lava that is black but turns white as it cools?” Danny laughed.
“Well, you know now.”
Kaden made his farewells and headed home. His good mood didn’t last. He couldn’t help wondering if he’d be alive this time tomorrow. It was a strange feeling.
I don’t want you to die.
“I know but you have to let me think about the possibility. You too.”
That’s why you’ve spoken to those you love, those who love you.
“Yes, because they’re important. They’re what matters. I don’t want to die but I’m at peace with the possibility.”
Are you frightened? I don’t want you to be frightened.
“Not as much as I thought I might be but then I’m not at the point where you’re coming out of me. I’ll be scared then.”
I’m sorry.
“I know.”
I know I keep saying it, but I have to. Do you forgive me?
“Yes, I forgive you,” Kaden said quietly. “You were scared and desperate. Survival instincts. I understand.”
Thank you for everything you’ve done. I am so lucky you saw my desperation when I was in the tank.
