When he realised Kaden was going to be released that day, Joe frantically tried to call to the fragment he’d left inside him. Could he help Kaden remember? Heal his throat? He tried to do both. This was unknown territory. In his previous form, he’d had the ability to do so much, now he just didn’t know what he was capable of.
That afternoon, Joe was wheeled past Kaden’s bed to be taken for an X-ray. He looked across at Kaden as he passed and Kaden glanced at him and smiled. Joe had smiled back, then he was pushed out of the ward.
A smile! But there’d been no recognition on his face, no acknowledgement that he’d seen Joe at his bedside last night. At least Kaden’s dad had told him that he was no longer going out with Harris. It made Joe a little less worried about the trouble Harris could cause, particularly with what he had inside him. Even so, Joe still worried.
When Joe returned to the ward, Kaden had gone and his world suddenly felt very small. Joe had never missed anyone before and it was a strange feeling, an emptiness deep inside. He hadn’t given up on reuniting with Kaden. But if it was going to happen, Joe had to walk and he had to talk. He practised quietly, repeating words until they sounded right. He touched his thumb to each of his fingers, to his little finger and back, time after time.He kept trying until he could touch his nose with his eyes closed. He lifted his legs, bent his knees and when no one was looking, he got out of bed and with one hand on the mattress, he took a few steps around the bed. And he ate everything he was given whether he liked it or not.
He needed to get out of the hospital as soon as he could. Definitely before they came with more results from his blood test. He had no idea what they might discover. He looked human. He had human organs but his blood would take a while to become what it should be. His clothes were in the bedside cupboard. Assuming he could walk away without anyone seeing, he’d leave tonight and take that envelope with him.
12
Kaden’s dad helped him into the car. “I wasn’t sure they’d let you come home.”
“Begged,” Kaden managed to say.
He’d been given instructions on what to avoid—fatty food, alcohol, caffeine, chocolate and spicy stuff. He had medicine to cut down stomach acid and steroids to reduce inflammation. Honestly though, he already felt a lot better. His throat was no longer on fire and he was managing a few words. Being able to speak at all felt like a miracle. He’d been scared he might never be able to talk again.
“They said small, frequent meals.” His dad pulled into traffic. “And no lying down for three hours after you eat.” He paused. “I thought I’d make a mushroom risotto. That should slip down easily.”
“Thank you.”
Guilt pressed at Kaden’s chest. His dad hated driving into London, and he’d left work an hour early to come and get him. As deputy head, he had a little more flexibility than other teachers.
Kaden leaned against the window and closed his eyes. Last night had been a blur of half-formed thoughts and unanswered questions. They were still unanswered. His phone showed he’d bought a ticket to Brighton, but he had no memory of that. Apparently, he’d gone straight from Brighton to the hospital. Also a blank. Had something happened in Brighton? If so, why not go to a hospital there?
They’d said he was found in the accessible toilet. That didn’t make sense either unless all the other cubicles had been occupied. Not knowing was deeply unsettling.
“I’m not going to pester you to tell me what’s gone on until your throat’s better,” his dad said, “but I do want to know.”
So do I.Did his dad not believe that he couldn’t remember?
When the dark-haired guy in the bed opposite had been wheeled out of the ward, Kaden caught a look at his face, and something had almost clicked into place in his head. For a split second, he felt on the verge of remembering, then the feeling vanished. They’d exchanged a smile but Kaden was certain he’d never seen him before. He was about Kaden’s age, with untidy dark hair, thin-faced, wide-eyed and oddly cute.Green eyes like me.But brighter. Another place, another time, Kaden might have… But it wasn’t the right time or place. He wondered what had been wrong with him. He’d not seen him walking, not even to the bathroom.
At some point last night, Kaden had dreamed of wings and pressure, of warmth blooming in his chest, then in his throat. It had felt strange, yet more familiar than made sense. When he woke, his throat had undeniably improved. It felt much less sore. When he’d saidthank youclearly to a nurse, he’d nearly cried.
At the same time, something was still wrong. He might no longer feel as if he’d been churned up by a rough sea and spat out, but hedidfeel disconnected. There was a hollowness inside him, as if he’d lost something important. It had to be the missing memories. He was desperate to know what had happened. The doctor had said his amnesia wasprobablytemporary.
What if his memory never came back?
His dad had to wake him when they got home.
Kaden blinked into consciousness, his heart racing, his breathing shallow, as if he’d been dragged up from somewhere dark and airless. He still felt wrong. But he was glad to be somewhere hedidremember.
“Rest on the couch while I put the shopping away and tell me what you remember.”
Kaden audibly sighed as he sat down. “Nothing.” His voice was still croaky.
His dad brought him water, set it carefully within reach, then started to make dinner.
“Is that the truth? Because if you did something stupid, I won’t be cross. I mean, I probably will be cross, but I need to know.”
“Don’t remember…anything since…going to Lixian.”
The knife froze in mid-air. “That was two weeks ago. You don’t remember coming to see me? Standing right there and telling me you and Harris were finished?”
“No. Nothing.” Panic fluttered low in Kaden’s chest. “I thought we were still together when I saw him in the hospital. Even when you said we weren’t I didn’t remember ending things.”
“And yet you were uncomfortable with him being at the hospital. You told me, without using words, that you wanted him gone.”
