“Do you?” Jalis asked Kaden.
“Yes.”
“Then I do too,” Jalis said.
Kaden opened his mouth to say it didn’t follow that Jalis would like it just because he did, but closed his mouth again. He felt as if he were accumulating clues about the guy but was nowhere near the full picture.
14
Joe felt as if the meal with Kaden’s dad—call me Charlie—was a test. Not because the questions were difficult, but because Joe cared too much about the result. Even if Kaden remembered, he’d never be able to tell his dad the truth.
He hoped the lie about Afghanistan would be enough. He hoped Charlie didn’t directly ask if it was him who’d hurt Kaden. If he said he had, he thought Charlie would make him leave.
Charlie’s gaze kept flicking between Joe and Kaden, as if measuring the space between them. Joe wished he knew what Charlie was thinking. Joe was polite and open, but not too open. He answered Charlie’s questions the same way he’d answered Kaden’s, in a steady factual way, though his chest tightened every time Kaden spoke, every time his voice carried that familiar warmth.
Mate.He felt it even though it wasn’t something he could explain.
When Kaden mentioned Afghanistan, Joe allowed himself to talk more freely. It was easier when the words had the weight of his research behind them and maybe it would trigger Kaden’s memory because he knew much of what Joe knew, though not all.
“There used to be two pigs in Kabul,” Joe said. “Gifted by China. They lived in the zoo and lots of people went to see them. Eating pork is haram, but the pigs became a curiosity. Then they had piglets.”
“Then a keeper left a door open and a brown bear got in,” Kaden said. “It killed the piglets and mortally injured the sow. The male was on his own for years. There are no pigs there now.”
Kaden looked shocked at what he’d said. He met Joe’s gaze and didn’t look away. Didn’t even flinch. That alone made Joe’s throat thicken.
“Are you a strict Muslim?” Charlie asked.
Joe shook his head. “No. I’m gay. Being true to myself matters more to me.”And I like crisp smoky bacon.He bit his lip to stop himself smiling.
The meal continued. Conversation moved between cricket and buzkashi. Joe told careful truths edged with omissions. He tried not to say much about the journey from Afghanistan to the UK. The fewer details, the less he could be tripped up on. He hated lying, but he knew the truth could end his future.
He spent the evening watching Kaden. The way he leaned forward when he was interested in something. The crease between his brows when he didn’t understand or was trying to remember. The way he laughed, short and surprised, as if joy still caught him off guard. Joe liked making him smile, loved making him laugh. He wanted to reach for him constantly, needing to be reassured. He desperately wanted to stay part of Kaden’s life, but first, Kaden had to remember.
When Kaden said, “I’ll show you where you’re sleeping,” relief and disappointment hit at the same time.
But this was his dad’s house. Kaden wouldn’t sleep with him here. It wasn’t that Joe wanted anything to happen… He just wanted to be held.
Joe pushed to his feet. “Thank you very much for the meal, Charlie. Thank you for letting me stay.”
Charlie nodded. “How do you speak English so perfectly?”
“I do?” Joe remembered Kaden telling him that he shouldn’t make his English too precise. Ah. Too late. “I studied at night school for many years and listened to English speakers online. English used to be on the curriculum but not since the Taliban took control.”
“Your hard work paid off,” Charlie said.
“Thank you.”
Joe followed Kaden up the stairs.
At the top, Kaden paused. “Considering you said you weren’t from Afghanistan; you know a lot about it.”
“I’m not from there,” Joe said quietly. “But better that I claim to be as far as anyone else is concerned.”
Kaden frowned, as if he was circling a truth he couldn’t quite see, then he brushed the thought away and opened the door. “This is the guest room. Bathroom’s there. Toothbrush under the sink. You need something to sleep in?”
“I’m fine.” Joe’s voice sounded steadier than he felt.
Kaden smiled. “You impressed my dad. You were very polite.”
