Stop it.
Audrey
Oh I love those names! My five guys all have old-school names too.
Becca
How’d you comeup with those names?
Me
My great-grandmother’s names on my mom’s side. They died before I was born, but my mom said I would have really liked their cantankerous personalities. I always imagined they’d be sitting in rockers, on a covered porch, gossiping about the neighbors.
Audrey
I really love that.
Becca
Ours are just named after boring flowers.
Cassie
Your husband found a stark white guinea pig, gifting it to you so that you could name it Hyacinth because that’s your favorite flower. Don’t even act like he isn’t a perfect man.
Me
That’s really adorable!
Audrey
It is. But can any of you give advice on how to get a pig to stop kicking its poop out of the cage?
Cassie
I’ve seen ours eat her own poop, so I doubt I’m much help.
Cassie
Just know it could be worse.
Me
I guess I’m lucky. My two don’t do either of those things.
Becca
Hyacinth screams at us if the cages get too dirty. She’s a bougie bitch.
Audrey
I’d love to get the four of us together. Since it’s off-season for football and hockey, we can work around the baseball schedule. Is that alright, Layla?
Me
Yes, absolutely! I’d really like that. It’s been more challenging to make friends in Denver than I’d hoped. It doesn’t help that I’m basically surrounded by men at my job.
Cassie
