Everett: Oh? You don’t think about taking your husband’s name whenever you get married?
Me: I doubt I’ll ever be legally married. I don’t know if I believe in the institution. Why does it have to be legal? What are we proving? Married people still lie and cheat. At least if I’m not married, it’ll be easier to leave when the asshole cheats.
Everett: You’re pretty upset over a hypothetical man hypothetically cheating on you in your hypothetical marriage.
Me: Eh. It is what it is.
Me: What are your views on marriage?
Everett: Until recently, I had similar views to yours. I guess as I get older, I’m seeing the concept differently. Growing old with someone does have benefits.
Me: I can grow old without changing my name, filing joint taxes, and letting the government know I fuck someone regularly.
Everett: Pretty sure you can still file jointly if you aren’t married.
Me: Really?
Everett: I don’t know. I don’t do my taxes. You’d have to ask my accountant. I prefer to ignore the fact that I have to pay back money to the government every year.
Me: Ahh. I’m poor enough that I still get money back.
Me: One of the rare times it’s good to be poor.
Everett: Are you really poor, or you wish you made more? Are you having difficulty making ends meet?
Me: Honestly? Yes. The cost of living in Denver is so high. It’s incredibly frustrating. I’ve been living in an area I don’t feel safe in because it’s all I can afford, and on a good traffic day, it still takes me at least thirty minutes to get to work.
Everett: Should I ignore that message?
Everett: I thought you didn’t want to share details?
Everett: I still think it will be difficult to find a Grace in Denver, and courtesy of Google, I see there are three million residents in Denver. But I’m not opposed to a boots-on-the-ground search.
Me: Shit.
Me: Can you forget I said that?
Me: I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, where you think you have to share your location or something now.
Everett: I won’t.
Everett: But Grace …
Everett: You should know I visit Denver fairly often.
Everett: And I really want to see you again.
What the fuck?
It was supposed to be a one-time thing. A moment to get the edge off. I never anticipated how life would continue. I don’t knowhow to handle this.Max made it clear he didn’t want to share me. Even talking on social media feels wrong. I don’t have a definition for whatever is going on with Max, but even one message to Everett feels like I’m cheating. Even if … it doesn’t matter.
God, this is so messed up. I don’t know how I got here.
It’s official.
I am going to hell.
I don’t talkto Max for the remainder of the day.
