Isdra's voice rose and fell as we moved. I could feel Keir's muscles tense, holding me tight ashe covered the ground with his long stride. The scent of his skin eased my headache. His voicewould reverberate in my ear as he questioned Isdra, but I couldn't concentrate enough tounderstand what they were saying. Just as well, I didn't really want to hear a retelling of eventsor of the deaths. I kept my eyes closed so that I couldn't see Keir's face as he learned of myfailure.
Then we were within a tent, and I was lowered onto a bed. Warm hands moved over me. Iopened my eyes to see Keir beside me. Isdra was still talking, repeating the portion of her talethat spoke of the steps I had taken with my patients.
"Lotus? You are sure it was lotus?"
I jerked at the sound of Gils's voice. It couldn't be, and yet when I slowly turned my head, hewas there, with his red hair and gangly arms, with healing supplies on a table next to him and avery determined look on that freckled face.
"No…" I whispered, and turned back as Keir removed my boots. "Oh, Keir, why have youdone this? Why?"
Keir looked up, his eyes glittering. "I will not lose you, Lara." His voice was strong and urgent.
"Fight this, Lara. Fight for me. For us."
A sound came from Isdra, and I shared her grief at hearing the same words she'd spoken toEpor but hours ago. I looked at her with eyes clouded with tears and sweat. "Isdra, why? Whydo this?"
"My Warlord commands, and I obey."
Anguished, I dropped my aching head to my chest and let a sob escape me. Keir knelt downbeside me, and cut the binding on my wrists. "Oh Keir, you should have listened. You stupidman."
But Keir simply continued to undress me. "I listened, Lara. Iften has charge of the army, andthey are about a mile off. We will remain isolated from them. We will care for you until you arewell enough to continue to the Plains. All will be well, fire of my heart."
"Drink this."
I looked into Gil's face. He stood there with a cup, trying to look so firm and competent. As Ihad felt the first time I'd dealt with a patient by myself. I licked my dry lips, looked at the cup,and then back at his youthful face.
"It's lotus." He gave me the best stern look he had. "Drink."
I raised a trembling hand but Keir took the cup, sat next to me and urged me to drink. Not thatit took much urging. I welcomed the drowsiness that the lotus would bring. As soon as the cupwas empty, Keir finished stripping me, and urged me flat on the bed beneath a rough blanket.
"She's sweating, Gils."
"I will see to her." Gils replied, the barest trace of trembling in his voice. "We will need morewater."
"The stream is close. We can get more easily." Marcus answered, gathering a few buckets.
He paused to look at me with concern. "If the Sweat is as bad as you say, maybe we should cuther hair. It will be hard to keep clean, and will tangle."
"No," Keir answered softly. He was beside me, running his fingers through my hair, pulling itoff my face. "No need. I'll braid it for her. I'll not see it cut."
Marcus snorted, and left the tent. Isdra followed, but not before I caught a glimpse of her face,and saw her naked grief. Gils was busy getting his cloths ready. I stared up at Keir as heworked his fingers through my hair, and cradled my head in his hand. His fingers gentlymassaged my scalp, easing the headache even further. Or maybe it was the lotus starting totake effect. I seemed to be floating slightly, but I wanted to tell him. Sorrow filled my heart, andmy eyes welled with tears. I'd killed him, my strong, handsome lover, killed him with my prideand arrogance. I reached out blindly, and felt his cool hand grasp mine. I concentrated, tryingto focus as he lowered his face to mine. "Lara?"
"It's all my fault." I whispered carefully. "I'm so sorry, so sorry."
"Lara," his voice was soft and urgent, but the lotus pulled me away.
"Papa? Papa!" It was so hot, so dark, where was Papa? The garden was withered and the sun
seared my skin. I ran along the path, trying to find Papa. Xymund was behind me, so angry, so
furious. He was going to kill me. I cried as he caught me, and struck out at my attacker. Papa's
voice cut through the fire, but he wasn't talking to me, wouldn't hold me. What had I done,
that he was angry with me ?
"Papa? What is'Papa'?"
"A name they call male theas. She thinks you're her father."
