I awoke at some point close to dawn. My eyes were heavy, the bed warm and soft beneath my body. I reached out for him, half-awake as my hand moved, fingers searching for the familiar skin. Keir wasn't there.
That brought me awake, and I blinked in the darkness. I'd blown out my fat little lamp earlier, and all that was left was the glow from the braziers that heated the tent. That was the light I was used to, in Keir's tent.
The loneliness caught me by surprise. The deep longing had settled in my chest before I even really knew what was happening, and I had to stifle a sob. I didn't want Amyu and the guards to know of my weakness.
I sat up in the bed, tucking the soft blankets under my arms. The noises that I had grown used to, the sounds of an army around me, were gone as well. There were still noises, but it was mostly of pennants flying in the breeze, and the occasional footstep outside.
I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. There was little chance that I'd sleep now. I could hear the accusations of Antas in my head, his shouts loud and clear.
Iften would testify, Joden would testify. How did Keir think that I'd be confirmed, with that kind of opposition? Especially when Antas clearly agreed with Iften? Would our truths be enough to sway the Council?
All the fear and tension of the last few days swept through me. What was I doing here, alone in the tents of the Firelanders? Who could be trusted? What was going to happen?
My head hurt. I rubbed my temples, and tried not to weep. But the weight of my thoughts bore down on me, alone, in the darkness.
Amyu had left some kavage by the braziers. I slid out of bed, into the cool of the darkness. I shivered, and padded over for a drink. I also found some tapers there, and put one against the coals of the brazier. A lick of flame popped up. I carefully carried it over, and re-lit my little lamp. The flame seemed to leap and chortle within its depths, as if happy to be there.
I slid back into the warmth of the bed, covering myself with the blankets. I pulled one of the pillows close. The fabric was smooth against my cheek as I hugged it, staring at the little flame. The light danced on the tent walls.
I closed my eyes and thought of Keir.
The way he'd looked on the practice grounds when I'd first realized that he'd claimed me in honor, not in shame. That afternoon meal by the pool, when we'd loved under the alders. Gently, the memories soothed me.
I opened my eyes to watch the light from the lamp as it sputtered slightly. A soft smile curved over my lips, and my body relaxed.
It had been my choice to allow Keekai to bring me here. I wouldn't let the fear stop me. Stop us. I'd trust Keir, as he trusted me. As we'd learned to trust each other.
I shifted slightly on the bed, and let my hand linger over my stomach. Still no sign of my courses. I'd no indications either way, but it was possible that I was carrying our child. Another memory flashed over my eyes, of Keir playing with Meara, making her giggle.
My child would be my heir, and would take the throne upon my death. How could I make these people understand that? Would they understand? Or would they insist that my babe be raised in the tradition of the Plains?
But from everything I'd seen of the Plains, their children were treasured and loved. They might not follow the traditions of Xy, but even the toughest warriors played and cared for their children. I yawned. What would our child look like? My curls? Keir's eyes?
My eyelids grew heavy and I drifted off to sleep.
I was eating breakfast when Amyu announced Essa the Singer's arrival.
I'd just enough time to swallow my last mouthful and stand before he swept inside. He was a tall man, and very broad of shoulder. His robes were all different colors of green this morning, and his armor was hardened brown leather. He carried a sword and two daggers. But what really caught my attention was the tattoo around his right eye, of a bird's wing.
"Good morning, Eldest Singer Essa." I gestured to my small table, and the other stool. "May I offer you kavage? Have you eaten?"
He cocked an eyebrow, clearly aware of the irony, but he sat, carefully arranging his robes. "I would wel come kavage."
Amyu served us both. Essa nodded his head as he took the full mug. "My thanks, child." We sat for a mo ment in silence as we drank our kavage and Amyu began to clear the dishes.
"Daughter of Xy, the Council meets today to hear the truths of the Warriors that have been summoned. Your presence is not required."
"What if I want to be there?" I asked. "To hear what is said of me?"
"That would not be permitted," Essa stated firmly. "Each warrior will be heard separately."
"Who? Who will speak?"
He paused considering. "Simus, Atira, Yers, Iften. Some others, perhaps."
"Joden?"
Essa frowned at his kavage. I had the strong impression that he was upset about something other than my confirmation. "That has not yet been decided."
