Orval gave her an encouraging nod, so she plunged on. “Eijer swept me off my feet,” Amari choked out. “He was—”
“Everything,” Orval nodded. “Handsome, witty, a wonderful fighter. Buckets full of charm and grace and lacking any honor or integrity.”
Amari’s eyes welled with fresh tears. “You knew him,” she whispered.
“I fostered with him,” Orval said. “He’d pretend to be a friend and then follow behind me, mocking my limp.” Dalan gurgled and Orval shifted the babe to his other arm. “Most ladies at Court have mothers to warn them. I’m surprised Kara didn’t warn you.”
“The conflicts were rising: she wasn’t much involved in the social aspect of the Court.” Amari said. “It was all so bright, so glittering. Dances every night, with the Great Hall lit with a thousand candles. I was too stupid to realize it was also frantic, fearful. The nobles knew what was coming, but—”
“Party hard, for tomorrow we war.” Orval said softly.
“Yes,” Amari said. “And passion and fire overcame any sensibilities I had. I did ask Eijer about a contract, but he swept away my concerns with warm embraces and sweet kisses. We used my funds for a grand, glorious party that never seemed to end.” She had to pause, her throat closing.
Orval’s eyes were warm and sympathetic. He sat, her son in his arms, and waited. Patient, with no judgement in his expression.
“I discovered that I was pregnant, and I went to tell him the joyous news publicly. He rejected me—” Amari choked. “Publicly. With harsh words and fierce looks. Cruel in ways I had not thought possible.”
Orval said nothing, just waited, giving her time.
Lara released the nipple with a yawn. Amari looked down into her tiny, sweet face. “I had no contract, no written word to protect me. My funds depleted, I sold what little I had, including my bracelets. I had no way to contact my family, due to the conflict.” In truth, even if she had been able to get a message through, she feared what her family would say. Thrusting that thought aside, Amari stumbled on. “When Kara learned of what had happened, she sent for me. I expected harsh words and reprisals, for I had shamed my Hearth.”
Amari lifted her head. “Instead, I was offered sympathy and understanding. I think, in some way, she blamed herself for my plight. Although, in fairness,” Amari’s tears welled up again as her heart turned over, “with my heart filled with Eijer’s soft whispers, I doubt that I would have listened. Kara told me that she too was bearing and offered me the position of Royal Wet Nurse. I accepted, gladly. She saw to my needs and brought me to a midwife to see me through the birth.”
“Let me take her, if she’s done,” Orval said, nodding at Lara.
They quietly swapped babies, and Amari put Dalan to her other breast as Orval put Lara on his shoulder and started to pat her back gently. The kitchen was quiet, the only sound the drag of Orval’s shoe on the floor.
Amari mopped her face with her free hand, trying to get her emotions in check. Eijer dead. That bright, handsome face, that sparkle. Despite everything, she’d hoped he’d have a change of heart once he’d seen his son, and return to her side, apologizing, becoming once again the loving, charming man she’d fallen for.
Now Dalan would never know his father and she’d never know—and yet, even deeper down, she did know. Had he ever really loved her? Had she really loved him? She’d thought she had, and yet…
It was complicated and right now, it was all just a tangled bundle of pain.
Lara burped, the soft sound seeming to echo in the quiet room. Amari watched Orval switch the child to his other shoulder and resume patting as he paced, his eyes down, his face thoughtful. She felt lighter for having told him the truth, but dread crept over her. She waited for him to say something, anything, to condemn her for her—
Orval came to a stop, facing her.
“We need a courting contract,” he said.
Chapter Thirteen
Orval was pleased as he watched surprise replace the pain in Amari’s lovely dark eyes, reddened from crying. His heart went out to her. What she must have gone through, this past year.
“What did you say?” Amari asked, as if she couldn’t quite take it in.
“We need a courting contract,” Orval repeated. Lara was snuffling in his ear, so he adjusted her on his shoulder. “We’ll say that we are following the ways of your people in this.”
“You do not condemn me,” Amari looked like she was about to start crying again.
“No, of course not.” Orval rocked a bit where he stood, keeping up a rhythm on Lara’s back. “I know only too well how vicious life at Court can be. Even under Wellan and Kara, there was always cruelty and backstabbing. One of the many reasons I avoided the place. Except for the Royal Library, of course.”
Lara burped and started to fuss. Orval hugged her to his shoulder as he turned away to gather up a fresh nappy and swaddling cloth, hoping this would give Amari a moment to gather herself.
How could he blame her? Eijer was everything a woman could wish for. Wealthy, handsome, charming, skilled at combat and dance, a sparkling addition to the Royal Court.
Everything that Orval had never been. A pit formed in Orval’s stomach, filled with his own inadequacies.
Damn Eijer, for luring such a lovely lady on, then leaving her in such straits. “The nobility have sharp tongues,” he continued. “They cheerfully vivisect one another for their dress styles, much less their private lives.”
