At the same time, it ain’t mean this shit ain’t hurt though. It just meant I knew better than to keep playin’ with it.
Right now, I was at the crib, laid back with Pressure and Kay’Lo, kickin’ it the way we always did when shit was calm. We had the cards out, music playin’ low in the background and I was whoopin’ they ass in spades.
“Man, y’all niggas weak as fuck,” I said, throwin’ my card down while I leaned back in my seat. “I don’t even know why I keep playin’ with y’all like this.”
Kay’Lo shook his head, already reachin’ for his drink. “Nigga, shut up.”
Pressure chuckled low, shakin’ his head like he already knew what it was. “Keep talkin’. I’mma clean you up next hand, nigga.”
“Nigga, I’m cleanin’ you up now. The fuck is you talkin’ ’bout,” I shot back, grinnin’ while I grabbed my cards.
We was in the middle of the game, laughin’, talkin’ shit and just vibin’ like nothin’ else mattered, when Kay’Lo’s phone rang. He glanced at the screen, then picked it up, answerin’ without thinkin’ twice.
The second he put it to his ear, I could hear Toni screamin’ through the phone.
It wasn’t clear enough to make out what she was sayin’, but the shit was loud enough to know somethin’ wasn’t right.
Me and Pressure both paused at the same time, our attention shiftin’ straight to Kay’Lo. The energy in the room changed so fast, and I watched ‘Lo’s face while he listened.
It was like everything drained out of him all at once, like whatever he was hearin’ just hit him somewhere deep. His hand slid down his face slow while he sat still listenin’, still tryna process whatever Toni was sayin’.
And the first thing that crossed my mind was My’Love.
My chest tightened instantly, a feelin’ hittin’ me so quick I ain’t even have time to think straight. I wasn’t ready for nothin’ to happen to her. I wasn’t ready for no bad news when it came to her, and I could feel that shit sittin’ tearin’ up my chest while I waited.
“What the fuck!?” Kay’Lo shouted, his voice sharp enough to cut through everything. “Is you serious right now!?”
Me and Pressure looked at each other for a second, both of us tryna read the situation without even askin’ yet.
Kay’Lo stayed quiet for a second after that, still listenin’, and breathin’ heavy while he ran his hand over his face again.
Then he finally pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at us.
“Fuck, bruh…” he said, his voice lower now, but that weight was still there.
“Sha’Nelle got shot…”
The minute we found out Sha’Nelle was shot, we ain’t even waste no time gassin’ up the jet. I ain’t ask no questions and I ain’t wait on nobody to explain shit, ’cause the only thing on my mind was gettin’ to her and seein’ what the fuck really happened.
Everything after that moved fast, but it ain’t feel fast. It felt like time was draggin’, and every second was takin’ longer while we was tryna get to ‘Nelle.
We all loaded up in the Suburban like it was automatic when the driver pulled up. Me, Pressure, Kay’Lo, Toni and Pluto got in without nobody sayin’ nothin’. And it wasn’t even a question of who was goin’. The kids was straight with the nannies, and everybody moved like they was supposed to, ’cause that just how it was when it come to ‘Nelle.
The truck stayed quiet the whole way, and that was the part that felt the most off. Wasn’t nobody playin music or talkin’ just to break the silence. Everybody was sittin’ here dealin’ with this bullshit in they own way.
Toni sat in the back, quiet, but I already knew she was fucked up behind that call. This wasn’t just her cousin. That was her best friend, and I could feel that shit comin’ off her without her sayin’ a word.
Kay’Lo had Toni pulled in close to him in the backseat with his arm wrapped around her like he was holdin’ her together without sayin’ too much. She leaned into him, quiet, but you could tell she was barely keepin’ it in.
Pluto sat across from them with one hand on her stomach while she stared ahead, rubbin’ slow like she was tryna calm herself down. She ain’t say nothin’, but the tension in her body said enough.
Pressure leaned forward in the seat like he always did when he was locked in. He was quiet but already thinkin’, tryna figure out what this shit was gon’ turn into before we even got there.
I sat back with my duffel at my feet, watchin’ all of it play out without sayin’ shit either. I was just takin’ it in and tryna keep my own thoughts from runnin’ too far ahead.
Yeah, me and Sha’Nelle hadn’t seen each other in a lil’ minute, but that ain’t mean I didn’t give a fuck. That ain’t m mean I was cool with somebody tryna take her out, not knowin’ what she meant to my family. This wasn’t never gon’ sit right with me, no matter what kind of shit me and her had goin’ on.
I kept thinkin’ about ‘Nelle, from the way she moved, the way she talked her shit and just the way she laughed like nothin’ really bothered her. Me and her had a vibe we never spoke on and I just left it where it was ’cause at the time, I knew better, but that ain’t change the fact that I was gon’ go see about her.
