He still had that same presence, and that same energy that made people get the fuck out his way.
In this moment, I felt… safe.
My body relaxed before I could even think about it, my shoulders droppin’ while I looked at him, and I ain’t even realize how bad I needed that until he was right here in front of me. He was the last person I expected to see, but for some odd reason, it kinda made sense.
Renza walked in slow with his eyes locked on me, and I could see the anger he was holdin’ back.
He stopped by my bed and looked down at me, and I looked back up at him with tears slidin’ from my eyes again without me tryna stop them this time.
He ain’t say nothin’ at first. He just reached out, wiped my cheek with his thumb, then took my hand in his and brought it up, pressin’ his lips against the back of it.
That caught me off guard, cause Renza ain’t never did no shit like this with me. We always joked, argued, played around, but we ain’t never kissed on each other.
He lowered my hand back down and looked at me again, his voice low when he finally spoke.
“You good now. I’m here.”
For the first time since all this shit happened… I believed it.
I had been at the hospital for four days and if I was bein’ honest, I could’ve been outta there two days ago, but them pain meds through the IV had me feelin’ like I could wait a lil’ longer to leave.
Every time they came in askin’ me how I was feelin’, I made sure I answered just just enough to keep them from rushin’ meout the bed, but don’t get it twisted, my shoulder was really fucked up.
That damn bullet went through the back of my shoulder and came out the front, and even though they kept sayin’ I was lucky and nothin’ major got hit, that ain’t mean it felt good.
Every time I moved wrong or forgot my shoulder was fucked up for a second and tried to use my arm like normal, the pain would remind me real quick that I wasn’t back to myself yet.
Still, I wasn’t laid up in there cryin’ all day either.
I had my moments, but for the most part, I was still me. I was still talkin’ shit with the nurses, still rollin’ my eyes when they came in botherin’ me too early and findin’ a way to laugh even when I probably shouldn’t have been. And through all that, Renza had been right there, every single day.
He ain’t come in like his usual loud self, but he just showed up and stayed put like the chair next to my bed had his name on it.
When I woke up, he was there. When I fell asleep, he was there. Half the time I had to tell him to go stretch or move around just so he wouldn’t be sittin’ in one spot all day.
He ain’t have to but he got a rental and booked a whole Airbnb that he hadn’t even stepped foot in it yet. He really chose that hospital chair over a whole bed and ain’t complain about it not one time.
He made sure I ate too, and not that weak food they kept bringin’ in on them trays, but real food. He bought shit that actually tasted good, and made me feel normal for a second. He stayed on me about my meds like he was the one who prescribed them, watchin’ the clock and handin’ them to me without even askin’ if I was ready.
My mama noticed it too…
She had been comin’ up to the hospital every day, sittin’ with me, fussin’ over me, askin’ questions and makin’ sure everythingwas how it needed to be. The first time she met Renza, I could already tell she was tryna read gin and figure out what his place was around me. But he handled himself right.
He spoke when he needed to, stayed respectful, didn’t overstep and after that she ain’t question him bein’ by my side no more. She started leavin’ me with him like she knew I was in good hands, and that actually said more than anything she could’ve told me.
Couture called when he could, and I ain’t hold that against him, ’cause I knew he was out there workin’ and I knew he couldn’t just drop everything and get to me. But the further he got out in water, the harder it got for him to stay in touch, and them calls started gettin’ shorter and more spread out.
Meanwhile, Renza ain’t miss a day. I ain’t speak on it, but my spirit felt it.
By the fourth day, the doctors and nurses finally came in talkin’ like I really had to go this time, and I already knew I couldn’t play it off no more, so I called my mama while they was gettin’ everything together for me.
“You need to come home with me, ‘Nelle,” she said soon as I told her I was gettin’ discharged. “You don’t need to be back home by yo’self right now.”
“I’m not goin’ back to my apartment, mama,” I told her, keepin’ my tone calm. “I got somewhere else to go. I’m good.”
She paused, and I knew she ain’t like that answer, but she also knew me well enough not to keep pushin’ once I said I had it handled.
“Call me when you get there, and I’m not fuckin’ playin’ ‘Nelle,” she said finally.
